


Voltron:Legendary Memers

by Jazz_Emo



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura and Coran are dead...or are they? ;) (read ch.3 to find out abdhdhd), Angst, Asexual Pidge | Katie Holt, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Bisexual Shiro (Voltron), Cuban Lance (Voltron), F/M, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Fluff, Gay Keith (Voltron), Group chat, Hunk (Voltron) Has Anxiety, Hunk (Voltron) is a Good Friend, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Japanese Shiro (Voltron), Keith and Shiro are Adoptive Siblings, Lances family - Freeform, Let the palidans rest and be happy please, Lots of talk about Alcohol/Getting drunk, M/M, Matt Holt has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Most of the kinks are jokes so, Sassy Pidge | Katie Holt, Shatt and Klance talk about sex..a lot, Shiro (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Space Dad Shiro (Voltron), Space Uncle Coran (Voltron), Swearing, Tags will be updated, implied kinks, lots of swearing, mentions of smoking, pidge is of age dw, shennanigans, shiro has two dads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-03-12 22:25:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 18,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13556856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jazz_Emo/pseuds/Jazz_Emo
Summary: Set a few years after the war,the palidans are back on earth,they create a group chat





	1. VOLTRON:Legendary Memers

**Author's Note:**

> Shiro-Shirogayne  
> Matt-Matteo  
> Pidge-Pidgeon  
> Keith-EmoBoi  
> RazzleDazzle-Lance  
> Hunketh-Hunk

RazzleDazzle added EmoBoi,Pidgeon,Matteo,Shirogayne and hunketh to the chat  
RazzleDazzle:What up guys  
Hunketh:HI LANCE!!!!!!!!  
RazzleDazzle:HUNK I MISS YOUUUU  
RazzleDazzle:;-; pls visit cuba soon  
Hunketh:I Will!  
Pidgeon:LANCE I MISS HUNK MORE  
RazzleDazzle:Fite me pidge  
EmoBoi:Oh boy  
RazzleDazzle:Hi Keith i love youu <3  
Matteo:What up fam squad  
Shrogayne:we’re breaking up  
Matteo:;-;  
Pidgeon:*raises knife*  
Shirogayne:jkjk i love u matt  
Pidgeon:*lowers knife* good.  
EmoBoi:i find it funny how you’re afraid of pidge,shes small  
Pidgeon:I DARE YOU TO SAY THAT TO MY FACE  
Shirogayne:Children stop fighting or i will send you to the naughty corner  
Pidgeon:EXCUSE ME IM 23  
Shirogayne:Short  
Pidgeon:you’re lucky you’re dating matt because if you werent i would s t a b  
RazzleDazzle:Keith is being emo  
RazzleDazzle:he gets along with my brother because they’re both emo  
EmoBoi:hEY  
Hunketh:Oh boy you two havent changed  
Matteo:i remember pidges emo phase  
Pidgeon:I remember yours,you cried at the slightest g-note  
Matteo:you had a playlist full of emo songs  
Shirogayne:I saw matt jamming to mcr one time in our dorm at the garrison and i didnt want to let him know i was there so i screamed “EMO BOI” and ran as fast as i could  
Matteo:THAT WAS YOU??

Hunketh > Pidgeon  
Hunketh:i didnt want to kill the chat but  
Hunketh:i miss shay???? A lot??? Like...i really miss her  
Pidgeon:You okay bud?  
Hunketh:im..okay  
Hunketh:I dont want to worry my moms by crying but  
Hunketh:I hope shes okay and i hope she knows i love her  
Pidgeon:I know how you feel,try cooking or do something that will get your mind off this  
Pidgeon:i miss allura and coran too,i wish they were still here to see us now  
Hunketh:Yeah..i miss them too.  
Hunketh:Thanks pidge  
Pidgeon:You’re welcome hunk

Pidgeon > RazzleDazzle  
Pidgeon:Yo lance go shower ur best friend with affection  
Pidgeon:He’s down in the dumps  
RazzleDazzle:Got it!

RazzleDazzle > Hunketh  
RazzleDazzle:ur my best friend and i lov u  
RazzleDazzle:you’re kind and caring and you’re amazing??? We all love you????  
Hunketh:Im????? Did pidge set you up for this????  
RazzleDazzle:YES  
Hunketh:Im??? Lucky??? To??? Have??? Good??? Friends???  
RazzleDazzle:Get some sleep,Hunk,we love you  
Hunketh:Lov u too,goodnight


	2. Shennanigans and Fluff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff and shenanigans,Klance and Shatt being cute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff to make up for the angst and a long-ish chapter

Shirogayne:this just in i love my boyfriend matthew holt more than anything in the entire universe <3  
Matteo:SHIRO YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME  
Shirogayne:too bad because i can  
Pidgeon:Wow you two are complete s a p s  
Pidgeon: $5 cents that you two are cuddling right now  
Matteo: “$5 cents”  
Matteo:and yes we are cuddling right now  
Pidgeon:shut up i havent had my coffee yet  
Hunketh:Good morning!!  
Pidgeon:Good morning hunk  
Pidgeon:I forgot how bright the sun was  
Hunketh:when i got off the plane i looked at the sun and i was like “holy shit thats bright”  
Pidgeon:Why did you look directley into the sun???  
Hunketh:because i can  
RazzleDazzle:Good morning everyone!  
Hunketh:Morning lancey  
Pidgeon:Wheres the emo?  
RazzleDazzle:Sleeping  
*RazzleDazzle sent 1 photo*  
Pidgeon:is that...a hippo onsie??  
RazzleDazzle:i brought him one for our first christmas together  
Pidgeon:HA  
Pidgeon:Matt got shiro a mug that said “space dad”  
Shirogayne:It was pidge’s idea  
RazzleDazzle:of course it was  
Pidgeon:Hey lovebirds im making coffee get out of bed or im drinking the entire pot  
Matteo:PIDGE NO  
Pidgeon:PIDGE YES  
RazzleDazzle:Remember when hunk ate an entire thing of food goo?  
Pidgeon:YES  
Hunketh:I was hungry okay????  
EmoBoi:good morning  
Pidgeon:Good morning keith,nice hippo onsie  
EmoBoi:DID LANCE SHOW YOU THAT????  
Pidgeon:Mabyeeee  
EmoBoi:you’re lucky i love you lance  
RazzleDazzle:<3  
Shirogayne:What is with the holts and slapping eachother with pancakes???  
Pidgeon:S A C R I F I C E  
Matteo:YOU WOULDNT UNDERSTAND  
RazzleDazzle:i have coffee and its blazing hot  
RazzleDazzle:but not as hot as keith ;D  
EmoBoi:oH  
*RazzleDazzle sent 1 photo*  
RazzleDazzle:he is as red as a tomato  
EmoBoi: •/////////•  
RazzleDazzle:you should see keith when girls try to ask me out  
RazzleDazzle:he gets all angry and goes “EXCUSE ME HE IS TAKEN” and drags me off  
Shirogayne:Matt gets extra jelly  
Shirogayne:a girl was trying to ask me out so matt just walks up to me and kisses me on the lips as hard as he can right in front of this girl  
Pidgeon:Lmfao

RazzleDazzle:Jelly keef is best keef  
Pidgeon:S A C R I F I C E  
Matteo:S A C R I F I C E  
Shirogayne:Pls dont sacrifice eachother  
Matteo:SHE STARTED IT  
Pidgeon:Ur the one who suggested a food fight  
EmoBoi:Lance drank a whole pot of coffee once  
RazzleDazzle:called out by my own boyfriend ;-;  
EmoBoi: >:3  
Hunketh:Petition to launch mcdonalds coffee into the blazing hot sun  
RazzleDazzle:Petition Signed  
Shirogayne:Mcdonalds is ew  
Matteo:KFC is best  
Pidgeon:Matt just fell face first into his food  
*Pidgeon sent 1 photo*  
RazzleDazzle:RIP MATT  
Pidgeon:Matt is a fool  
Matteo:HOW DARE  
Shirogayne:imagine living with these two every day for several years  
RazzleDazzle:oh i can imagine  
EmoBoi:Lance why are you always wearing face cream  
RazzleDazzle:SO I CAN FEEL PRETTY  
EmoBoi:Tf ur always pretty??  
Pidgeon:*Shreiks*  
Matteo:*Shreiks higher*  
Shirogayne:*shreiks even higher*  
Hunketh:Oh boi  
Matteo:Pidge dont eat the butter  
Pidgeon:Dont tell me what to do matt  
Matteo:IM THE OLDEST SO I TECHNICALLY CAN  
Pidgeon:FIGHT ME  
Shirogayne:Children stop fighting  
Matteo:Fiiiiiiiine >:((((  
EmoBoi:MOTHMAN IS REAL  
RazzleDazzle:NO HE ISNT  
EmoBoi:YES HE IS  
EmoBoi:ASK PIDGE  
Pidgeon:He’s real  
Hunketh: Imagine keith and lance having a child and the child asks keith “daddy whats an orgasam” and keith says “i dont know i’ve never had one” and lance just gasps  
RazzleDazzle:hEY  
RazzleDazzle:Keith lets wait till my fam leaves ;)))  
Pidgeon:LANCE NO  
Emoboi:O H  
Hunketh:Its getting late fools so i better sleeb  
EmoBoi:Its late for me too oof,night holts,shiro and h0nk  
Pidgeon:Night!  
Matteo:Nighty Night,im on my way to sleeb as well  
RazzleDazzle:Bye Bitches!


	3. PLOT TWIST

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura and Coran are actually alive??? + shenanigans + sappy klance and shatt

Hunketh:GUYS  
Hunketh:LOOK AT THIS  
*Hunketh sent a link*  
Pidgeon:”alien ship crashes on ship,inhabitants claim to know palidans of voltron”  
Pidgeon:You dont think????  
RazzleDazzle:is it?  
EmoBoi:W H A T???????  
Matteo:it cant be...they’re both dead????  
Shirogayne:The article gave accurate descriptions of the two..but..how can we be sure??  
*Hunketh sent 1 photo*  
Matteo:is..is that the castle ship?????  
Hunketh:HOLY SHIT  
EmoBoi:They crashlanded in our area..we’ll go check for them  
Pidgeon:im f r e a k i n g o u t  
RazzleDazzle:it says they’re at a police station close by my house  
EmoBoi:We’ll update you on it   
Pidgeon:im actually crying oh my god  
Shirogayne:THEY’RE ALIVE!!!!

RazzleDazzle:HOLY SHIT ITS THEM  
RazzleDazzle:L O O K  
*RazzleDazzle sent 1 photo*  
EmoBoi:i immediatley hugged coran im crying  
Hunketh:IM CRYING I CANT BELIEVE THEY’RE ALIVE  
Pidgeon:TELL THEM WE LOVE THEM AND MISS THEM  
Shirogayne:oh my god im sobbing  
Matteo:THEY’RE ALIVE  
EmoBoi:IM...AAAAA  
RazzleDazzle:They’re going to try and find a place to stay,they say they love u guys and miss you guys too  
Pidgeon:AAAAAAAA

 

Pidgeon > RazzleDazzle > Hunketh  
*Pidgeon changed the group name to Garrison Trio*  
Pidgeon:Because i didnt want to kill the happiness of the gc with Shennanigans i’ve made this gc  
RazzleDazzle:The trio™️ Is back at it again  
Hunketh:Imagine us driving in a corvette and flipping off commander iverson  
Pidgeon:oh my god we should do that  
RazzleDazzle:I’LL PLAN IT  
Pidgeon:How is living with the emo u’ve been pining for for years doing lance?  
RazzleDazzle:IT IS GREAT I LOVE HIM SO MUCH  
Hunketh:Hows it like with the lovebirds?  
Pidgeon:Its good and sappy  
Hunketh:I FORGOT I WASNT ON THE CASTLE SHIP AND I WENT TO THE KITCHEN AND IM LIKE “wheres the food goo?” And then im like WAIT THERES NO FOOD GOO  
RazzleDazzle:Rip Hunk  
Pidgeon:RIP  
Pidgeon:Why do reporters always come by my house  
Pidgeon:like pls leave me be  
Hunketh:Some reporters are fine  
Hunketh:But others??????? They’re just..hhhhh  
RazzleDazzle:i get they’re intrigued about how it was like in space and everything but..pls leave us alone we want to live a normal life,and why are they asking us about drama??? Like..theres no drama??? Reporters need to just back off peoples personal lives  
Hunketh:PREACH  
Pidgeon:if they ask about drama i say “we almost died and takashi shirogane fucked my brother“  
Hunketh:Pidge Oml  
*Pidgeon sent 5 photos*  
RazzleDazzle:MEMES  
Hunketh:I HAVE A PINEAPPLE  
Hunketh:i will eat the entire thing without cutting it  
Pidgeon:HUNK NO  
Hunketh:DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO PIDGE  
Pidgeon:FITE ME HUNKYBOI  
Hunketh:BEHIND TARGET  
RazzleDazzle:No fighting  
RazzleDazzle:Keith just made a very weird noise and is now acting like nothing happened  
Hunketh:Rip  
Pidgeon:Should i throw a condom into matt and shiros room to see what happens  
Hunketh:DO IT  
Pidgeon:I AM  
Pidgeon:OH MY GOD  
Hunketh:What????  
Pidgeon:THE DOOR IS LOCKED AND I HEAR NOISES  
Hunketh:RIP PIDGE  
Pidgeon:OH MY GOD WHAT IS SHIRO DOING  
Pidgeon:OH MY GOD  
Pidgeon:M Y B R O T H E R  
Hunketh:OMFG  
Pidgeon:I CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT I AM HEARING  
RazzleDazzle:RIP  
Pidgeon:I JUST SHREIKED WHY DID I HAVE TO HEAR THAT  
Hunketh:RIP PIDGE  
Pidgeon:IM CRYING M Y B R O T H E R  
RazzleDazzle:ajhsshbd  
Hunketh:Dont worry i was taking a walk in the castleship once and i heard noises comming from keith and lances room  
RazzleDazzle:u werent supposed to hear that  
Hunketh:I heard it alright  
Pidgeon:rip  
Hunketh:Lancey  
Hunketh:Lancey boi  
Hunketh:Best Friend  
Hunketh:My bro  
Hunketh:i appreciate u   
RazzleDazzle:WoW i aPprECiATE YoU TOO  
Pidgeon:i appreciate u too u loser  
RazzleDazzle:=^D  
Pidgeon:uwu  
RazzleDazzle:owo  
Hunketh:uwu  
Pidgeon:LETS VIDEO CHAT I HAVENT HEARD UR VOICES IN A LONG TIME  
RazzleDazzle:K LETS DO IT  
Hunketh:IM UP FOR IT  
*Video Chat with RazzleDazzle,Hunketh and Pidgeon 6:25:34*

Pidgeon > Matteo > Shirogayne  
*Pidgeon changed the group name to Holts and Shiro*  
Pidgeon:MATTHEW DANIEL HOLT AND TAKASHI SHIROGANE I HEARD WHAT YOU WERE DOING IN THAT ROOM  
Matteo:SORRY PIDGE  
Shirogayne:RIP  
Pidgeon:M Y B R O T H E R  
Shirogayne:RIP  
Pidgeon:MATTHEW I DID /NOT/ KNOW YOU WERE INTO THAT  
Matteo:Ahshdhdhdh sHUT UP PIDGE  
Pidgeon:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
Pidgeon:PUT UP A SIGN NEXT TIME  
Matteo:”we’re fucking,come back later”  
Pidgeon:ahdhehehd

Matteo > RazzleDazzle  
Matteo:HELLO MY FELLOW MEMELORD  
RazzleDazzle:HELLO  
Matteo:i cant sleep rip  
RazzleDazzle:neither can i  
Matteo:Shiro is sleeping and he looks like a fucking angel i love him sm  
RazzleDazzle:Same with keith!!! He’s so cute i cant   
Matteo:AAAAAAA  
Matteo:Does keith scrunch up his nose whenever u kiss him on the nose??? Shiro does that all the time and its so cute????  
RazzleDazzle:OMFG YES!!!  
Matteo:OH AND WHEN SHIRO LAUGHS AND SMILES I START CRYING BECAUSE HES SO ADORABLE  
RazzleDazzle:S A M E

 

Shirogayne > EmoBoi  
Shirogayne:are they gushing over us?  
EmoBoi:yep  
Shirogayne: >:3 i have an idea

*Shirogayne changed the group name to sappy boyfriends*  
*Shirogayne added EmoBoi,RazzleDazzle and Matteo to the chat*  
Shirogayne:this just in matt is the best boyfriend ever and i love him so much  
Matteo:SHIRO DONT DO THIS TO ME  
Shirogayne:keith saw you and lance gushing over keith and i >:3  
Matteo:oH  
EmoBoi:lance is the best boyfriend ever and i love him sm he’s such a caring and compassionate person and im glad im able to kiss his stupid face every day <3  
RazzleDazzle:oH Im cRYINg NoW I lOvE YoU tOO  
EmoBoi:<3  
Matteo:this just in shiro is an amazing bf,he’s a good cuddler and a great kisser i love him more than anything in the entire galaxy and im glad he lives with pidge and i because i wouldnt know what i’d do without him <3  
Shirogayne:MATT HOW DARE U  
Matteo:OH DONT WORRY I HAVE EVEN SAPPIER VOWS PLANNED  
RazzleDazzle:^^^  
Shirogayne:HMPH  
Matteo:<3 i love u  
Shirogayne:I love u too matty <3  
EmoBoi:WaIT YOU HAVE VOWS PLANNED OUT?????  
RazzleDazzle:you’ll see ;)  
Shirogayne:oof its 3am and we should be sleeping  
Matteo:goodnight!  
Emoboi:night!


	4. VALINTINES

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shennanigans,Valintines day and Coran and Allura being added to the chat

Shirogayne:it is valintines  
Matteo:AAAAA  
EmoBoi:i have best bf  
*hunketh sent 1 photo*  
Pidgeon:we’re video chatting while watching you saps  
RazzleDazzle:omg i forgot i gave u my face cream  
Hunketh:u also gave me a good friendship  
RazzleDazzle:omg   
Emoboi:Lanceyyy  
EmoBoi:i need cuddles  
RazzleDazzle:IM COMMINGG  
Pidgeon:We’ll be watching..from afar >:3  
Hunketh:ew pidge dont lick that  
Pidgeon:i do what i want

Shirogayne > Pidgeon  
Shirogayne:pidgey  
Shirogayne:i want to propose to matt tonight   
Shirogayne:and i want to ask ur permission  
Pidgeon:Fuckin hell yes u can marry that nerd  
Pidgeon:i remember a certain someone saying “go,be great”  
Shirogayne:that was meeeeeee  
Pidgeon:and this is me saying go put a ring on that hecking nerd  
Shirogayne:ur the best  
Pidgeon:ur also the best

Shirogayne > Pidgeon  
*shirogayne sent 1 photo*  
Shirogayne:He said yes <3

Matteo > Pidgeon  
Matteo:KATIE IM CRYING

 

Matteo:omg  
Matteo:im crying  
*Matteo sent 1 photo*  
Matteo:I CANT BELIEVE   
Shirogayne:<3  
Matteo:im actually engaged oh my god  
Matteo:i am c r y i n g  
EmoBoi:*wipes tear* my bro is all grown up  
Pidgeon:*ugly sobbing*  
Shirogayne:SHUT UP KEITH  
EmoBoi:im sure you dont shut up when you’re in bed ;)  
Matteo:he dosent shut up ur right  
Shirogayne:KEITH  
Shirogayne:MATT  
Pidgeon:ahshsh  
Hunketh:congrats u big sap  
RazzleDazzle:*claps*  
RazzleDazzle:im bringing allura and coran to the wedding cus they’ll be happy to see u  
*emoboi added SpaceMom and CoranCoran*  
SpaceMom:congratulations you two! Lance and i made a bet and now he owes me 10 gac  
RazzleDazzle:HMPH  
RazzleDazzle:guess who’s next?? ;)  
Pidgeon:when u get married i’ll be sobbing  
Pidgeon: :,)  
EmoBoi:ITS HAPPENING  
EmoBoi:WE’RE ALL OFFICIALLY GETTING OLD  
Pidgeon:soon there’ll be smol keith’s,lance’s,shiro’s and matt’s running around  
Hunketh:they’d give aunt pidge and uncle hunk gray hairs by the time they’re 35  
Pidgeon:rip  
EmoBoi:soon we’ll all be wrinkly   
Pidgeon:i cant wait til i can say “when i was your age”  
Shirogayne:i cant wait to make dad jokes  
CoranCoran:i finally got this thingy to work!  
Hunketh:hi coran!!  
CoranCoran:hi favorite palidan-i mean hunk  
RazzleDazzle: :0  
Hunketh:i knew it  
SpaceMom:i drank a whole pot of coffee  
Pidgeon:how did u survive  
SpaceMom:i feel no pain,only fear  
Pidgeon:rip allura  
Pidgeon:also coran do u still have the slipperies?  
CoranCoran:Pidge u quiznacking little shit

Matteo > Shirogayne  
Matteo:<3  
Shirogayne:<3  
Matteo:wow i cant believe im engaged im crying  
Shirogayne:Ur gremlin sister was in on it  
Shirogayne:and so was my emo brother  
Matteo:of course they were  
Shirogayne:i cant wait to marry u <3  
Shirogayne:pidge is obvs ur best man and keith is my best man  
Matteo:yep <3

 

Garrison Trio  
Hunketh:im making a cake for the shatt wedding no exeptions  
Pidgeon:yess hunk cuisine is back!!  
RazzleDazzle:i missed hunks cooking  
RazzleDazzle:i miss hunk in general  
Pidgeon:dont we all??  
Pidgeon:he’s like the best pillow to lay on  
Pidgeon:he’s also the best mechanic and nicest guy i’ve met  
RazzleDazzle:greatest friend and best cook  
RazzleDazzle:The yellow lions best palidan  
RazzleDazzle:The universe’s sunshine boy  
RazzleDazzle:the sun that brightens the sky  
Hunketh:aww you guys!!  
Pidgeon:this is hunk appreciation  
Hunketh:well two can play at that game  
Hunketh:PIDGE APPRECIATION  
Hunketh:Best techinician 100%  
Hunketh:Amazing fighter 100%  
RazzleDazzle:in matts case,the best sister ever  
RazzleDazzle:In shiro’s case,the best sister in law ever  
RazzleDazzle:In our case,the greatest friend ever  
Pidgeon:O H  
Pidgeon:LANCE APPRECIATION  
Pidgeon:in keiths case,the best boyfriend  
Pidgeon:in our case,the best sharpshooter  
Pidgeon:In mama mcclain’s case,the best son  
Pidgeon:in everyones case,the greatest friend  
Pidgeon:In the blue lions case,the best pilot  
Pidgeon:In my case,the best brother-figure ever  
Pidgeon:In the universes case,the flirt,the hero,the blue palidan we all know and love  
RazzleDazzle: :,) im actually crying rn  
Hunketh:GOOD

Voltron  
Pidgeon:appreciation time  
Pidgeon:KEITH APPRECIATON,LETS BEGIN  
RazzleDazzle:The best boyfriend ever <3  
Shirogayne:the best brother ever,although he can be annoying,  
EmoBoi:oH  
CoranCoran:Fast,Angry..but he’s got a heart  
Emoboi:IM CRYING  
SpaceMom:best palidan for the red lion  
Emoboi:why am i crying in the club rn???  
RazzleDazzle:<3  
Pidgeon:Tommorows appreciation is..dun dun dunn  
RazzleDazzle:everyones favorite badass space princess   
SpaceMom: :0,i am honored


	5. Litteraly this entire fic is just shennanigans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Usual shennanigans + Shatt/Klance being sappy and flirty + Broganes/Holt Sibs

Pidgeon:APPRECIATION TIME  
Pidgeon:Allura appreciation  
CoranCoran:Best daughter   
Pidgeon:badass space princess  
Hunketh:Tough and Rough  
RazzleDazzle:not ONLY is allura a badass princess,but she’s a great leader,an an amazing friend  
SpaceMom:aww you guys  
Pidgeon:matt appreciation  
Pidgeon:best brother 100%  
Pidgeon:he may be an annoying little shit,but he’s MY annoying little shit and nobody can replace him  
Matteo:Aww pidgeyyy  
Pidgeon:im not always a gremlin  
Shirogayne:BEST BOYFRIEND 100%  
Matteo:s h i r o  
Shirogayne:<3 shiro loves you,baby  
Matteo:i just melted  
Pidgeon:raise ur hand if u’d take a bullet for matt holt and allura altea  
Pidgeon:*raises hand*  
EmoBoi:*raises hand*  
RazzleDazzle:*raises hand*  
Shirogayne:*raises hand*  
Hunketh:*raises hand*  
CoranCoran:*raises hand*  
SpaceMom:you guys are the best <3  
RazzleDazzle:hey keith  
RazzleDazzle:are you a sun? Because you brighten up my day  
EmoBoi:o h  
EmoBoi:They should call you cupid,because you shot an arrow right through my heart <3  
RazzleDazzle:I just saw an angel,and his name is keith  
EmoBoi:Come over here and kiss me you dork  
Shirogayne:I dont need treasure because i already ahve some and his name is matt <3  
Matteo:shiro you flirt  
Pidgeon:omg u saps  
Pidgeon:hunk if we’re both still single by 30 we can just get married  
Hunketh:y e s  
Pidgeon:its probably going to happen tbh  
Hunketh:hahshdhd  
Hunketh:yep

Matteo:Keith,Shiro and i are the original garrison trio  
EmoBoi:Omg we are  
Matteo:i’d climb through vents and shit  
Matteo:keith’d be pining over lance  
EmoBoi:Okay i admit it he was hot..and still is  
EmoBoi:the first time shiro saw matt he ran up to me and he’s like “Keith he’s hot what do i do”  
Pidgeon:omg  
Matteo:ahshdh  
Shirogayne:Keith was super gay for lance  
RazzleDazzle:aww babe you had a crush on me? <3  
EmoBoi:how could i not?? <3  
EmoBoi:HEY EVERYONE TAKASHI SHIROGAMER HERE  
Shirogayne:I hate you  
EmoBoi:”keith why does nobody like my videos???”  
Shirogayne:i take everything nice i said about u back  
EmoBoi:im hurt ;-;

RazzleDazzle:a girl tried flirting with me at the store  
EmoBoi:HISS  
Shirogayne:aaaand jealous keith rises  
EmoBoi:HE IS MINEEEEEEEEE  
EmoBoi:*Screech*  
RazzleDazzle:and i was like “i have a boyfriend”  
EmoBoi:AND ITS MEEEEEE  
RazzleDazzle:i love jelly keith <3  
RazzleDazzle:and the girl was like “oh im sure he wouldnt mind/know if we just”  
RazzleDazzle:and i just walked away  
EmoBoi:good because ur mine  
EmoBoi:and only mine  
EmoBoi:now set the bags down and come upstairs i want lance time  
Shirogayne:someone tried flirting with me too  
Matteo:*unholy screech*  
Matteo:shiro is takennnnn  
Matteo:by meeeeeeee  
Matteo:*points at engagement ring* SEE?  
Shirogayne:<3 i love u when ur jelly  
Matteo:AAAAAAAA  
Matteo:Once u have that ring on ur finger people’ll think twice about flirting with u  
Pidgeon:aww is my brother jealoussss??  
Matteo:i hate u  
Pidgeon:love u too bro  
Matteo:>:( ur the worst  
Pidgeon:awwww is matt being crabby?  
Matteo:i swear to god if you say im six i will kill you  
EmoBoi:hahahaha  
EmoBoi:shiro its time for ur nap :)  
Shirogayne:Keith i will personally throw you into space  
Matteo:puppy eyes always works  
Shirogayne:puppy eyes for keith is like demon eyes  
EmoBoi:i feel attacked  
Hunketh:pidge is a monster  
*hunketh sent 1 photo*  
RazzleDazzle:YOU DONT EAT CHOCOLATE BARS LIKE THAT  
Pidgeon:im doing it to kill hunk  
Hunketh:;-;  
Pidgeon:Matt remember when i was like 0 and u were like 5 or 6 and u were holding me and you were crying and you were like “SHES SO UGLY”  
Matteo:XD  
*EmoBoi sent 1 photo*  
Shirogayne:awww i remember this  
Shirogayne:You were 3/4 and i was 11  
EmoBoi:You’re still ugly  
Matteo:Keith i’d have to disagree   
EmoBoi:of course you do  
*RazzleDazzle sent 1 photo*  
EmoBoi:Awww  
Hunketh:Your younger brother looks so much like you  
Emoboi:no wonder he’s so adorable  
RazzleDazzle:<3  
Hunketh:i present to you,my sisters (4 and 6) being introduced to yours truly  
*hunketh sent 1 photo*  
Pidgeon:awww! Baby hunk!  
*hunketh sent 2 photos*  
Hunketh:And here are my baby bro’s  
Shirogayne:awww  
Shirogayne:hey keeefy >:3  
EmoBoi:what??  
Shirogayne:TICKLE FIGHT  
Emoboi:NOOOOOOOOOOOO  
Shirogayne:YES  
RazzleDazzle:i’ll tickle him for u  
EmoBoi:nOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
Pidgeon:matthew if you tickle me i will fite  
Matteo:>:3  
Pidgeon:ahem  
Pidgeon:”Pilot fucker”  
Matteo:KATIE ANNE HOLT  
Pidgeon:>:3  
Matteo:YOu’RE GROUNDED  
Pidgeon:U CANT GROUND ME IM AN ADULT  
Matteo:ahem  
Matteo:katiebug  
Pidgeon:matthew daniel holt  
Shirogayne:KEEFYYYYYYYYY  
EmoBoi:i hate you  
EmoBoi:takashit  
Shirogayne:;-; i am hurt  
Pidgeon:i hate all of you  
RazzleDazzle:pidgey you love usss  
Pidgeon:fiiiine  
Matteo:i can still pick u up  
Shirogayne:i can still pick keith up  
EmoBoi:shiro if you even TRY-  
*shirogayne sent 1 photo*  
Shirogayne:i was 20,u were 12  
Matteo:*fans self at shiro*  
EmoBoi:omg i remember that  
Matteo:*wheezes*  
EmoBoi:dont forget our bonding moment  
RazzleDazzle:oh i dont forget our bonding moment last night ;)  
Matteo:Get a room you fools  
Pidgeon:FOOLS  
Matteo:SPAGHETTI   
Pidgeon:*climbs on matts head* SPARTAAAAA  
Matteo:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
Shirogayne:i cant believe i live with these two  
Matteo:you love us,kashi <3  
Shirogayne:fiiiiine  
Pidgeon:SHIRO LOOOOOVES US  
Shirogayne:HMPH  
Pidgeon:this is what happens when u live with the holts  
Shirogayne:i actually have a journal for that  
Shirogayne:”day 1:The holts like slapping eachother with food,also pidge snores a lot”  
RazzleDazzle:when i say vol you say...  
EmoBoi:TRON  
RazzleDazzle::,) im so proud  
EmoBoi:laNcE is tICKlINGGG MEE HELP  
Shirogayne:>:3  
EmoBoi:fUCK YOU SHiRO  
Matteo:i want to get up but the boyf is warm and i dont want to get up

Matteo:hi im gay  
Matteo:we should order pizza  
Pidgeon:IM DIALING AS WE SPEAK  
Pidgeon:its the usual for all 3 of us  
Shirogayne:yep  
Hunketh:pan with a plan  
RazzleDazzle:bi with them thighs  
Pidgeon:ace-sessing the situation  
Matteo:I always get BI  
*EmoBoi sent 1 photo*  
EmoBoi:punk boi with flower crown aesthetic   
RazzleDazzle:my cute boyfriend <3  
EmoBoi:<3  
*shirogayne sent 1 photo*  
Matteo:WHEEZE  
Matteo:pidge....im gay.....im so gay help me  
Matteo:*cries over my hot fiancé*  
Shirogayne:babe why  
Matteo:IM G A Y  
Hunketh:Pidge,at the shatt wedding:*swings through the fucking window and lands at the altar* waddup bitches  
Matteo:she would actually do that  
Pidgeon:AAAAAAAAA  
Matteo:AAAAAAA  
Pidgeon:MATTHEW  
Matteo:KATIE  
Shirogayne:one time keith put a bunch of peanut butter on his knife and licked it all off  
EmoBoi:ITS NOT A PHASE SHIRO  
Shirogayne:its a phase  
EmoBoi:UR NOT MY MOM  
Shirogayne:FITE ME  
EmoBoi:BAN SHIRO  
Shirogayne:BAN KEITH  
EmoBoi:SHIRO IS THE WORST  
Shirogayne:KEITH IS THE WORST  
Pidgeon:matt is the ugliest one here  
Matteo:wow katie im hurt ;-;  
Pidgeon:>:3c  
Shirogayne:Pidge ur wrong  
Pidgeon:*yotes shiro out the window*  
Matteo:wow i cant believe my sister killed my future husband  
EmoBoi:*sips tea*  
Shirogayne:wow keith u wouldnt save me?? ;-;  
EmoBoi:>:3  
Matteo:*clings to shiro* i have all the candy i need  
Pidgeon:w h y  
Matteo:I CANT HELP IT  
Pidgeon:congrats shiro ur gonna marry him   
Pidgeon:also he talks in his sleep  
Shirogayne:”katie if you eat my fucking onions i will throw you in the fire”  
Pidgeon:i’ll eat ur onions anyway  
Matteo:fite me  
Pidgeon:ur a hoe  
Pidgeon:a shirhoe  
Matteo:i hate u  
Pidgeon:i hate u too  
EmoBoi:shiro is the worst  
*EmoBoi sent 1 photo*  
EmoBoi:put milk before the cereal again and i’ll punch u  
Shirogayne:Haha like you could punch me  
EmoBoi:I’LL DO IT RIGHT NOW  
Shirogayne:leave lance’s arms and do it then  
EmoBoi:BUT HES WARMMM  
Shirogayne:>:3  
EmoBoi:pidge can we trade  
Pidgeon:no  
Matteo:wow u actually love me? :,)  
Pidgeon:Kinda  
Matteo:im hurt but happy  
Pidgeon:good

Shirogayne > EmoBoi  
Shirogayne:MCR broke up decades ago  
EmoBoi:DONT TELL ME THAT  
Shirogayne:i do what i want  
EmoBoi:I HATE YOU  
Shirogayne:love you too little bro  
EmoBoi:why are you like this  
Shirogayne:because im the oldest

EmoBoi > Pidgeon  
EmoBoi:pidge  
EmoBoi:pidgey  
EmoBoi:pidgeon  
EmoBoi:gremlin  
EmoBoi:my sis from another miss  
EmoBoi:my green child  
EmoBoi:my fellow cryptid child  
EmoBoi:if an enemy suposedly tries to attack earth again we should just attack them while screaming the pokemon theme  
Pidgeon:omg hell yes  
Pidgeon:and i could throw those gross disgusting dry peanuts at them  
EmoBoi:peanuts are for hoetor and his generals  
EmoBoi:also u should get some rest u gremlin  
Pidgeon:fiiiine  
Pidgeon:goodnight u emo fool  
EmoBoi:goodnight u gremlin fool


	6. HAP BORTH TO U SHIRO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> T

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rip i dont put coran and allura in here as much cause i dont know how to do their characters welll TTwTT

Matteo:happy birthday to the greatest boyfriend and greatest cuddler in the world,you are the stars to my sky and the night to my day,you make me happy and i love you more than anything in the entire universe,<3  
EmoBoi:Happy birthday to my weirdo brother,ur my friend and ur annoying,but i couldnt ask for a better brother.  
EmoBoi:Dammit matt u beat me to it  
Hunketh:Happy birthday to the universes best black palidan  
Pidgeon:To space dad!  
CoranCoran:To shiro!  
RazzleDazzle:To our #4 voice of reason  
SpaceMom:To shiro!  
Pidgeon:*raises a glass*  
Shirogayne:Im??? Crying???  
Matteo:<3  
EmoBoi:>:3  
Pidgeon:Shiro look out ur window  
Shirogayne:is that..a sign saying “happy 6th birthday shiro”  
Pidgeon:yes  
Matteo:THATS MY SISTER  
Shirogayne:ur lucky i love u guys

 

EmoBoi:GUYS  
EmoBoi:i just saw the cutest boy in the world today  
*EmoBoi sent 1 photo*  
RazzleDazzle:Keith Omg  
EmoBoi:<3  
RazzleDazzle:<3  
Matteo:Two can play at this game  
Matteo:Look at my beautiful fiancé  
Matteo:he’s so..handsome..i love him..sm  
*Matteo sent 1 photo*  
Shirogayne:babe omg  
Pidgeon:Saps.  
Pidgeon:I STAYED UP V V LATE PLAYING GAMES HELP ME  
Matteo:I TOLD YOU TO GO TO BED AT 11  
Pidgeon:IM A GREMLIN WHAT DID YOU EXPECT  
Hunketh:oh my god  
Shirogayne:Matt just dumped ice cold water on pidge and now she’s chasing him around the house with a broom  
Hunketh:rip  
Pidgeon:I CONQUER ALL  
Matteo:AVENGE ME SHIRO

Shirogayne:MATTHEW DANIEL HOLT  
Matteo:whatever did i do this time shiro?  
Shirogayne:IM IN OUR ROOM MINDING MY OWN BUISNESS  
Shirogayne:AND THIIIIS FUCKER STARTS TO SERENADE ME FROM OUTSIDE  
Matteo:<3  
Shirogayne:THIS BOY CAN SING  
Pidgeon:so thats what that shreiking was  
Matteo:HURT

 

Pidgeon > Matteo  
Pidgeon:what are we doing for shiros birthday  
Pidgeon:are we like..going out??  
Matteo:i guess  
Matteo:u got ur present?  
Pidgeon:>:3  
Pidgeon:Yesss  
Matteo:that gremlin smile scares me  
Pidgeon:GOOD

RazzleDazzle changed the group name to DAY OF SHIRO  
Shirogayne:lance why  
RazzleDazzle:BECAUSE  
EmoBoi:shiro did u get the cards and presenrs  
Shirogayne:i liked hunks the most  
EmoBoi:IM HURT  
Hunketh:i gave him like $50  
Shirogayne:Also keith i loved that shirt  
Shirogayne:Hunk that mug is awesome  
Matteo:Im also ur present  
Shirogayne:<3  
Pidgeon:I made a replica of his helmet  
Shirogayne:i FuCkING lOvE IT

 

Shirogayne:THANKS FOR THE BORTHDAY FOOLS  
Pidgeon:UR WELC  
EmoBoi:WE LOVE U  
EmoBoi:L0nc loves u too but he’s sleebing  
Shirogayne:i need to sleep too rip  
Pidgeon:GOODNIGHTTT

Pidgeon > EmoBoi  
Pidgeon:PSTT  
Pidgeon:u still up?  
EmoBoi:yeh  
Pidgeon:lets video call till we get tired  
EmoBoi:hell yea cryptid hoe  
*Video Chat with Pidgeon and EmoBoi 4:25:34*


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw:Homophobia

EmoBoi:good morning  
Matteo:Who the fuck drank the last juice box  
Pidgeon:Shiro  
Shirogayne:Pidge  
Matteo:(ʘ‿ʘ✿)  
Pidgeon:(ง'̀-'́)ง  
RazzleDazzle:Keefyyyy  
EmoBoi:yeesss??  
RazzleDazzle:i love u <3  
SpaceMom:coran is old  
CoranCoran:HOW DARE  
CoranCoran:i am young  
SpaceMom:in dog years  
CoranCoran:im hurt  
*RazzleDazzle changed CoranCoran’s name to Old Crab Man*  
Old Crab Man:i am dissapointed in all my children  
Shirogayne:who wants to hear a dad joke  
EmoBoi:no  
*EmoBoi left the chat*  
*Shirogayne added EmoBoi to the chat*  
Shirogayne:too bad ur here to suffer  
Shirogayne:why did the banana go to the doctor?  
EmoBoi:SIIIIIIGH   
EmoBoi:(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻  
EmoBoi:Why?  
Shirogayne:Because he wasnt PEELING well (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞  
EmoBoi:i hate you ಠ╭╮ಠ  
Shirogayne:You love me  
EmoBoi:1%  
Shirogayne:hUrT   
Pidgeon:Allura do u still have the mice  
SpaceMom:Hell ye  
Pidgeon:Ask the mice if shiro and matt ever fucked in the castle  
SpaceMom:ahhshdgd  
SpaceMom:Hold on one sec  
SpaceMom:Yeah they did  
Shirogayne:ALLURA  
Matteo:༼ つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ༽つ  
Shirogayne:༼ つ ಥ_ಥ ༽つ  
Matteo:ahehdhdh  
RazzleDazzle:Keith  
EmoBoi:yess??  
RazzleDazzle:ur cute  
EmoBoi:♥‿♥  
RazzleDazzle:i want to husband the FUCK out of you  
EmoBoi:DO IT  
RazzleDazzle:I WILL  
Shirogayne:i call best man  
Hunketh:Im already best man

RazzleDazzle:Keefy and i are on a date tonight and theres this homophobic asshole next to us  
Pidgeon:who do i need to fight  
RazzleDazzle:this 20something year old fuckboi who wears THAT haircut  
Hunketh:oh /THAT/ haircut  
RazzleDazzle:Keith and i take our seat and we’re ordering our drinks and stuff  
RazzleDazzle:and i say something like “babe remember when hunk-“ and this guy just scoffs and goes “GROSS”  
RazzleDazzle:And we look at him like “tf we’re just talking???”  
EmoBoi:He has his gf with him and she looks so embarrased  
RazzleDazzle:i feel so bad for her  
EmoBoi:she seems so nice???? She dosent deserve an ass like him  
RazzleDazzle:im gonna sneak keith a kiss and see what he does  
Matteo:Save that poor girl  
EmoBoi:He just said “i cant believe they let f*gg*ts defend the universe”  
RazzleDazzle:YES MARIA IS COMMING  
RazzleDazzle:she’s the owner of the resturant and like..one of my good friends  
EmoBoi:she’s awesome  
RazzleDazzle:”you have no right to talk to my friends like that,especially the palidans of voltron”  
EmoBoi:SHE KICKED THAT BITCH OUT  
Shirogayne:Give him a middle finger from me and my cute boyfriend  
*Shirogayne sent 1 photo*  
EmoBoi:Qhashdh if he hadnt walked out already id’ve shown him that picture of u two kissing  
Matteo:>:3  
RazzleDazzle:Like tf just let us kiss  
EmoBoi:We aint hurting you???

 

Pidgeon:Guys just think  
Pidgeon:in a few more months we’ll all be physically seeing eachother again  
Hunketh:I have great news   
Hunketh:Im moving near you guys  
Hunketh:1) because i want to see u guys again and 2)im opening a bake shop there =D  
Pidgeon:QUALITY HUNK CUISINE  
Hunketh:NY HERE I COME  
Shirogayne:OH MY GOD  
RazzleDazzle:So are we! =D  
EmoBoi:I’ll be sad to be leaving cuba along with mama and grandma McClain but at least i’ll see you guys again  
Shirogayne:THE BROGANES ARE BACK  
Hunketh:I get to see lance again yayyyy  
Pidgeon:AAAAAAAAAA  
Pidgeon:i cant wait  
SpaceMom:We’re comming along for the ride too :D  
Pidgeon:YES!!!!  
SpaceMom:If im space mom and shiro is space dad then matt is also space dad  
Matteo:YES  
Old Crab Man:Pidge what the quiznack is this tea and why does it taste so good  
Pidgeon:because its good

Hunketh:Help im being stuck in an endless loop of “go ask your mom”  
Pidgeon:RIP  
Hunketh:”can i cook for you guys tonight?” “I dont know go ask your mom” *both laughing*  
EmoBoi:i love your moms already  
Hunketh:I love them but they’re doing this to make me suffer  
Hunketh:”Mom?” “Yes?” “*in mind* not you the other one”  
Shirogayne:if keith and lance ever have kids they’ll probably stick them in an endless loop of dad jokes  
Matteo:Same with us  
RazzleDazzle:”What do you call a banana-“ “Dad uncle shiro told us the same joke”  
Shirogayne:*cue lance screaming*  
EmoBoi:”Your uncle shiro smells” “uncle shiro said the same about you”  
Shirogayne:I cant wait to tell embarrasing stories  
Shirogayne:My dads are also flying in this week  
Matteo:How come i’ve never met these two??  
Shirogayne:They’re always busy but they were able to fly in this week =^D  
EmoBoi:Tell dad and pop i said hi(from their favorite son)  
Shirogayne:EXCUSE ME  
RazzleDazzle:ask them who their fav future son in law is

 

Shirogayne > PapaShirogane  
Shirogayne:Pop  
Shirogayne:Whos ur fav son in law  
PapaShirogane:Can i pick both?  
Shirogayne:pick matt  
PapaShirogane:did you and keith get into another war  
Shirogayne:Mabyee  
PapaShirogane:Just dont kill eachother for the love of god  
Shirogayne:we wont

PapaShirogane > DadShirogane  
*PapaShirogane sent 1 photo*  
PapaShirogane:We raised these two  
DadShirogane:this is what happens when we let these two go into space for a couple of years  
PapaShirogane:Also,What the fuck did you do with my cereal  
DadShirogane:i so did not eat it all  
PapaShirogane:you’re lucky i love you

 

Voltron  
*Shirogayne sent 1 photo*  
Shirogayne:Pop never lies  
EmoBoi:HMPH  
EmoBoi:well he did say he loved both soooo  
EmoBoi:>:3  
Matteo:Takashi  
Shirogayne:Matthew  
Pidgeon:Matt stole my soup  
Matteo:Pidge stole my rubber duck  
Pidgeon:Fite me  
Matteo:i also stole ur rubber duck but guess what shiro shoved it up my ass  
Shirogayne:no i did not  
Pidgeon:LIES  
EmoBoi:Papa just called and said that when shiro was like 20 he poured a whole thing of cereal down his mouth  
Shirogayne:I TRUSTED HIM  
Matteo:Babe omg  
EmoBoi:>:3

Matteo > Shirogayne  
Matteo:i am nervous about meeting ur parents  
Shirogayne:ahshdh dont worry you’ll love them  
Shirogayne:Dad and Pidge’ll get along great cause they’re both nerdy cryptids who drink too much coffee   
Matteo:WONDERFUL  
Shirogayne:And pop’s pretty chill  
Matteo:i cant wait for embarrasing Shiro stories  
Shirogayne:Sush ur cute mouth

*EmoBoi renamed the chat to Shirogane House*  
*EmoBoi added PapaShirogane,DadShirogane and Shirogayne to the chat*  
Shirogayne:when are u guys getting here  
DadShirogayne:around 3,ur time tommorow  
EmoBoi:I wish you guys could visit cuba because u need to meet lance  
Shirogayne:You’re gonna love pidge dad,she’s a huge cryptid and a huge nerd  
PapaShirogane:Dont encourage him,Takashi.  
DadShirogane:ENCOURAGE ME,TAKASHI.  
Shirogayne:Also keith stole my rasin brand  
EmoBoi:uhh that was like a few years ago plus the space mall had cereal and i hadnt eaten it in a long time  
PapaShirogane:Please tell me you and matt didnt..  
DadShirogane:Yuuta,Honey,Dear,Love of my life,WHY THE FUCK WAS THAT THE FIRST THING YOU HAD TO SAY   
PapaShirogane:IDK  
DadShirogane:Aahdhdhd  
EmoBoi:tag urself and ur bf im papa and lance is dad  
Shirogayne:Im papa and matt is dad

 

Garrison Trio  
Hunketh:Guys  
*Hunketh sent 1 photo*  
RazzleDazzle:OMG LOOK AT US  
Pidgeon:I was so small compared to u giants  
RazzleDazzle:Pidge u were cute admit it  
RazzleDazzle:keith very sleepily said “if she dosent admit it i’ll eat all her peanut butter”  
Pidgeon:HMPH  
Pidgeon:Tell keith to suck lances dick cause thats the only one he sucks  
Hunketh:PIDGE OH MY GOD  
RazzleDazzle:i mean..ur not wrong  
Pidgeon:ahshdhd  
RazzleDazzle:im already thinking of names for keith and i’s child  
RazzleDazzle:”Hunk Pidge McClain”   
Hunketh:YES  
RazzleDazzle:named after the nerdiest nerds i know <3  
Pidgeon:You two would be badass at PTA meetings  
RazzleDazzle:”shut up helen nobody cares about your lemon brownies they taste like shit”  
Pidgeon:ahshdh  
Hunketh:its so weird not being in the castleship anymore  
Pidgeon:i know right! Its been years but it still feels so weird being at home in not in a castle flying through space  
RazzleDazzle:Its weird not being in a mechanical cat  
Pidgeon:Once the garrison trio gets back together it’ll be chaos  
Hunketh:it will  
Hunketh:its getting rly late anehdh goodnight nerds!  
RazzleDazzle:Goodnight hunky!  
Pidgeon:Nighty Niiiight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes,Before you all ask,this series will have an end(Mabye a sequel),but dont worry,the series wont end soon =D  
> I also have a hc that shiro has two dads so..enjoy


	8. Allura said fuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SpaceMom:Jesus christ lance you’re a fucking furry arent you  
> RazzleDazzle:..  
> RazzleDazzle:Mabye

Shirogayne:The shirogane parents are here and dad and pidge are discussing cryptids  
*Shirogayne sent 1 photo*  
Pidgeon:Shiro ur dad is amazing  
EmoBoi:This just in:Lance is the reason im gay  
*EmoBoi sent 1 photo*  
EmoBoi:This man...is beautiful   
Shirogayne:Let me show you..the man of my dreams  
*shirogayne sent 1 photo*  
CoranCoran:Uh??? Have you NOT seen king alfor?  
*CoranCoran sent 1 photo*  
SpaceMom:Coran no  
CoranCoran:coran yes

*Shirogayne renamed the chat og garrison trio*  
*Shirogayne added EmoBoi and Matteo to the chat*  
Shirogayne:look at us 3 back together again  
Matteo:Keith u still have ur dumb mullet  
EmoBoi:u still have a gay crush on shiro even tho u two r together  
Shirogayne:Alright you two settle down  
Matteo:Yes Sir ;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))  
EmoBoi:move ur kink somewhere else matthew  
Matteo:Keith why is your brother so damn HOT holy SHIT

RazzleDazzle > Shirogayne  
RazzleDazzle:Why is ur brother so hot???? Explain????  
Shirogayne:Lance oh my god

Voltron  
Shirogayne:Fworm Vwoltwon!!!  
Matteo:Bye babe ur canceled   
Shirogayne:ahshs  
EmoBoi:oh my god  
Pidgeon:Do u guys remember the hot sauce catastrophe?  
EmoBoi:omg i remember  
Shirogayne:I CANT STAND SPICY FOOD  
EmoBoi:LOL  
EmoBoi:Pidge,Hunk,Lance and I could handle spicy food along with allura and coran but SHIRO  
EmoBoi:This guy had to chug an entire thing of milk  
Shirogayne:R I P M E  
Matteo:I have a shiro kink  
EmoBoi:Of course u do  
EmoBoi:i have a..huge lance kink  
RazzleDazzle: ;)))  
Hunketh:oh my god you guys

 

Shirogayne:On the flight to NY pidge,matt and i almost wanted to scream cause there were crying babies and shit  
EmoBoi:on the flight to cuba Lance and i were yelled at by an old lady for holding hands with him while nobody else cared ahshdhd  
Hunketh:When we see eachother again i will squeeze you all in a tight hug  
Pidgeon:Lets prepare ourselves for that  
Matteo:Dont crush my candy hunk,and by candy i mean shiros muscles  
Pidgeon:Damn boi u thirsty  
Matteo:Hell yea i am  
Matteo:i SLORP shiro  
Pidgeon:nO  
Matteo:the only one here who gets their dick sucked by shiro is ME  
Shirogayne: ;)))) its tru  
Pidgeon:oh my god  
EmoBoi:someone should tell lance to suck their dick just so i can say the only one who can get their dick sucked by him is me  
RazzleDazzle:omg  
Hunketh:On the flight back home to samoa i almost c r i e d  
RazzleDazzle:aww hunkkk  
Hunketh:I was like “fuck i’ll miss these guys so much”  
EmoBoi:When we all linked arms while going to the airport i didnt want to let go  
Hunketh:Some people stared when i got on the flight and everyone thought we were dead and im like..??? Did the garrison care??  
EmoBoi:Thank fuck none of us are going back there  
RazzleDazzle:Yeaaah i wouldnt go there if my life depended on it  
RazzleDazzle:And iverson was a dick to me so :/  
EmoBoi:Im going to kick his face  
EmoBoi:*Clings onto lance* Nobody is allowed to be a dick to my lancey >:(  
RazzleDazzle:Ooh scary boyfriend  
EmoBoi:*raises fists at iverson*  
Matteo:*Kicks iversons ASS for strapping my kashi to a table*  
Shirogayne:Kick his ass baby i got yo flower  
Pidgeon:*Jumps on hunks shoulders and naruto runs at iverson*  
Shirogayne:U W U  
Pidgeon:I cant believe shiro said uwu  
EmoBoi:Let allura say fuck  
*CoranCoran sent 1 video*  
EmoBoi:LMFAO  
SpaceMom:LiSTeN   
SpaceMom:EARTH COFFEE IS FUCKING SCORCHING HOT COMPARED TO ALTEAN COFFEE   
CoranCoran:Scorching hot like king alfor?? ;))  
SpaceMom:Jesus fucking christ coran  
Pidgeon:Allura just said fucking im wheezing  
SpaceMom:WE GET IT DAD UR GAY  
CoranCoran:Did you just call me dad?  
SpaceMom:Mabyeeeee  
Pidgeon:Allura do u know..memes  
SpaceMom:Enlighten me,Child  
*Pidgeon sent 20 photos*  
SpaceMom:Fucking Hell  
Shirogayne:Allura remember the time you said “fuck the galra” and lance replied in spanish  
SpaceMom:Yea?  
Shirogayne:Do you know what he said?  
SpaceMom:Do i want to know?  
Shirogayne:He said “Im Trying”   
EmoBoi:Hahshdhdgdg  
Matteo:Omfg  
CoranCoran:Allura just slammed her face on the table and groaned loudly  
Matteo:Rip Allura  
SpaceMom:Jesus christ lance you’re a fucking furry arent you  
RazzleDazzle:..  
RazzleDazzle:Maybe  
SpaceMom:I am dissapointed in all my children  
CoranCoran:Allura im the oldest one here so they’re technically my children  
SpaceMom:LET ME LIVE MY LIFE DAD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://open.spotify.com/user/what_did_i_miss/playlist/1iNjtNS0H9MmaSJapkw0VN?si=-f-2p0ndQpezjoo1cCSL1w (Shatt Playlist)
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/user/what_did_i_miss/playlist/0CqwWqspUESfvpB1egcb4S?si=nIIULM_kTCCpsSRs5035Kw(Klance Playlist)
> 
> Also heres a link to my discord server,its small at the moment but go ahead and join if u want:   
> https://discord.gg/zn2ac3K


	9. Fluff and..GET HIT WITH THE ANGST

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith just really misses his boyfriend and Lance misses his boyfriend

Hunketh:Yo pidge u know that place thats being built where u live?  
Pidgeon:Yea?  
Hunketh:Thats the new spot for lions bakery :,)  
Hunketh:ALL MY HARD WORK IS PAYING OFF  
Pidgeon:I CALL FIRST CUSTOMER  
RazzleDazzle:WOO!  
Shirogayne:Its hard to believe that summer is gonna be here shortly,before we know it we’ll all be in one place again  
Matteo:THIS BOI IS READY  
Shirogayne:Lmfao dad and pop are calling dibs on “bakery grandparents”  
Hunketh:Ahshd  
Hunketh:They’re already loading stuff in there and i got my place  
RazzleDazzle:And so do we! Man i just want summer to come already  
Hunketh:Man im so happy the wars over  
Pidgeon:Me too  
RazzleDazzle:now i can cuddle with my boi without having to go to battle <3  
EmoBoi:<3  
EmoBoi:The BOM asked if i wanted to stay w/them but i said no because i wanted to look at lance’s face every single day <3  
RazzleDazzle:<3  
Shirogayne:Not being in a war means i can kiss matt all the time <3  
Matteo:<3  
SpaceMom:Honestly?? After being in war after war its so good to be at peace  
CoranCoran:I havent been this happy since i first met alfor and his handsome face  
SpaceMom:U know what coran i’ll let you be thirsty this one time  
EmoBoi:Lance’s jacket is warm and it smells like him and i love it

RazzleDazzle: “My Boyf-“ “You have a boyfriend!? You were such a ladies man back then! What happened to you?” *stares into camera like im in the office*  
Matteo:Oof i hate that shit  
Matteo:I cant wait til i can say “my husband” and not give a shit about peoples reactions  
RazzleDazzle:Bisexuality?? Is a thing??  
Matteo:^^  
RazzleDazzle:Like nothing happened to me?? I just fell in love with a wonderful boy

Shirogayne > EmoBoi  
Shirogayne: Dad:Everyone thought shiro was straight in high school..everyone was wrong  
Pop:Everyone thought keith was straight and they were..very wrong  
EmoBoi:LMFAO  
Shirogayne:i cant believe people thought we were straight  
EmoBoi:broGAYnes  
Shirogayne:Congrats ur my fav brother now  
EmoBoi:Im ur only brother  
EmoBoi:Also have i ever told you about lances ass?  
Shirogayne:Jesus christ keith  
Shirogayne:Then again..Matthew Holt..more like matthew HOT

EmoBoi > Matteo  
*EmoBoi sent 1 photo*  
EmoBoi:Congrats this is the man ur gonna marry

 

EmoBoi > Matteo  
EmoBoi:hhHHHHFUCK  
Matteo:Whats eating at you bud?  
EmoBoi:Lance is going on a small trip with his fam and i cant go cause im sick but this is the first time we’ve been apart in a long time and idk if i can handle it  
Matteo:Oof,Seperation Anxiety,i know that feeling  
Matteo:If Pidge Or Shiro are gone for more than 20 minutes i get v worried  
EmoBoi:Me too..like its only 5 days but im scared what if someone attacks him or what if he gets killed or

 

EmoBoi > RazzleDazzle  
EmoBoi:Hey,Babe,Can i ask you something?  
RazzleDazzle:Sure  
EmoBoi:if i ever turned full galra..would you still love me the way you do now?  
RazzleDazzle:Darling i love you galra or not  
RazzleDazzle:and if you ever started turning full galra i’d be there for you every step of the way <3  
EmoBoi:<3  
RazzleDazzle:<3  
EmoBoi:i hate that you’re gonna be away from me for a few days :(  
RazzleDazzle:Im gonna miss u too :((  
EmoBoi:Aaaa ur not even gone yet and i already miss you :(  
RazzleDazzle:this is like the first time we’ve been away from eachother in a long time aaa  
EmoBoi:come upstairs because i want cuddles >:(

VOLTRON  
Matteo:owo  
Pidgeon:Why are you like this  
Matteo:u love me  
Pidgeon:Fineee  
Shirogayne:Guys im booooored  
Pidgeon:Fuck my brother  
Shirogayne:i already did  
Pidgeon:.. i was not expecting that response  
Matteo:RIP  
Pidgeon:We should uh  
Pidgeon:uh  
Matteo:We should do prank calls mabye? >:3  
Pidgeon:YES  
Shirogayne:Prank calls and just doing random things shdhd  
Matteo:I’ll make the popcorn  
Pidgeon:Nope ur not to be trusted with microwaves i’ll do it  
Matteo:ahshdhd true  
Shirogayne:I’ll get the other stuff shehd  
Hunketh:What did matt do with microwaves  
Pidgeon:u dont wanna know

 

EmoBoi > RazzleDazzle  
EmoBoi:I dont like this :(  
RazzleDazzle:neither do i :(  
EmoBoi:i hate being sick and i hate being away from you  
EmoBoi:Whenever you’re not here it kills me and i cant imagine a life without you  
RazzleDazzle:Being away from you is like getting stabbed in the gut  
RazzleDazzle:I cant handle it :(  
EmoBoi:Can you just come home already??  
RazzleDazzle:god i wish i could  
EmoBoi:If anything happens to you im going to go fill blown insane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://discord.gg/zn2ac3K  
> Heres a new link to the discord cause i think the old one expired


	10. Chapter 10

Matteo:HAPPY BDAY GREMLIN CHILD  
RazzleDazzle:HAPPY BDAY PIDGE  
Hunketh:HAPPY BDAY GREMLIN :D  
Pidgeon:aaaa thanks  
EmoBoi:happy bday cryptid hoe  
Pidgeon:THANKS CRYPTID HOE  
Shirogayne:happy bday pidgeonnn  
CoranCoran:Happy birthday!  
SpaceMom:HAPPY BIRTH  
Pidgeon:THANKSS  
Pidgeon:MATTHEW DO I HEAR COFFEE  
Matteo:How do u hear coffee  
Shirogayne:did she..leap over the stairs?  
*Matteo sent 1 video*

Pidgeon:TAKASHI SHIROGANE  
Pidgeon:HOW D A R E  
Shirogayne:<3 love u pidge  
Pidgeon:AND YOU FUCKERS  
EmoBoi:we love u pidge!  
Pidgeon:AAAAAA  
RazzleDazzle:i think we killed pidge

EmoBoi:lance is bacc from vacation w fam and im happy  
RazzleDazzle:he’s been laying in my lap for like 2 hours  
SpaceMom:Oh i bet he does that on a regular basis  
RazzleDazzle:i hate u  
SpaceMom:u love me  
RazzleDazzle:0.0%  
SpaceMom:try me bitch  
EmoBoi:I feel like you guys would be siblings in an alternate reality  
*Slav joined the chat*  
Slav:THERE ARE 51827363637277172726363 REALITIES WHERE LANCE AND ALLURA ARE SIBLINGS  
Shirogayne:KILL THE DEMON  
*Pidgeon kicked Slav from the chat*  
Shirogayne:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
Matteo:omfg babe  
Shirogayne:slav is my worst enemy  
RazzleDazzle:is slav still in space...?  
SpaceMom:..Yep  
Shirogayne:oh thank god

 

Shirogayne:We’re back from dinner and pidgeon has fallen asleep  
Shirogayne:Meanwhile matthew is yelling about science cause hes still drunk  
Shirogayne:i dont understand what he’s saying  
EmoBoi:Lmfao Rip  
EmoBoi:Lance is tipsy and he’s basically trying to flirt with me while tipsy and i love it  
EmoBoi:”Heyyy keith you’re HOOOOOOT”  
SpaceMom:”I AM THE GAYEST SPACE MAN IN THE HISTORY OF THE WOOOOOORLD”-Coran,While drunk at my 16th birthday party  
EmoBoi:RIP  
CoranCoran:LISTEN IT WAS ONE TIME  
SpaceMom:sure it was

 

Hunketh:GUYS IM GONNA SCREAM  
Hunketh:i asked for these chairs to be delivered fucking tuesday and guess what  
Hunketh:the chairs dont get to the fucking place till /THURSDAY/  
Hunketh:like are you fucking serious  
EmoBoi:omfg  
Hunketh:IM GOING TO COOK UP A BITCHSLAP ON THESE FUCKERS  
Pidgeon:GO LOOSE HUNK


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance and Shiro are v soft over their bfs

Matteo > EmoBoi  
Matteo:Wedding planning is the hardest shit ever  
Matteo:SHIRO AND I ARE STILL TRYING TO FIND A HONEYMOON DESTINATION  
Matteo:WE HAVE TIL JULY  
EmoBoi:RIP  
EmoBoi:Lance wont tell me what tux he’s wearing and my gay ass is impatient  
Matteo:SAME  
Matteo:SHIROS ALL LIKE “just you wait” and im like “IM GAY I CANT WAIT”  
EmoBoi:Like god he’s probably gonna comb his hair back and im gonna faint  
Matteo:Shiro is probably gonna make me die at the altar  
Matteo:Pidgeon dearest is my maid of honor and im afraid of her speech  
EmoBoi:”They fuck too much”  
Matteo:ahshdg  
EmoBoi:Honestly i may or may not cry during my speech  
EmoBoi:like one my brother is getting married and two my hot ass boyfriend would be sitting next to me and my gay ass cant handle it  
Matteo:Also NAME CHANGING  
Matteo:I have to like change my last name on all my documents  
EmoBoi:RIP  
Matteo:i mean it’ll be hard but then again SHIRO

Shirogayne > RazzleDazzle  
Shirogayne:ahem  
Shirogayne:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
RazzleDazzle:rip shiro  
Shirogayne:kill me wedding planning is hard  
Shirogayne:i mean like i have the groomsmen who are my two cousins and you and i have the bridesmaid who is allura and the emo is my best man but like  
Shirogayne:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
RazzleDazzle:Okay but have you picked out a tux??  
Shirogayne:YEAH  
RazzleDazzle:i think keith is gonna die at mine  
*RazzleDazzle sent 1 photo*  
Shirogayne:oh yeah he’ll be dead  
RazzleDazzle:ahsh  
Shirogayne:But i also need a honeymoon location and a wedding song TTwTT  
RazzleDazzle:wait i think i have a perfect one  
*RazzleDazzle sent a link*  
Shirogayne:PERFECT  
Shirogayne:This entire playlist is..GOOD  
RazzleDazzle:ur welcc  
Shirogayne:Hunky boi and the pidgeon have a klance one  
RazzleDazzle:oo  
Shirogayne:god get ready to suffer with keith over weddings  
RazzleDazzle:rip

VOLTRON  
Hunketh:HYPEEE  
Pidgeon:ONLY 1 MONTH TIL VOLTRON RETURNS AND 4 TILL THE SHATT WEDDING  
Shirogayne:AAAAAA  
Pidgeon:HAS ANYONE SEEN HUNKS TUX  
EmoBoi:ITS FABULOUS  
Hunketh:*Bows*  
Matteo:my cousins wanted to see what the groomsmen/bridesmaids looked like and when i got to lance they were like “ooh can we have him” and im just  
EmoBoi:Im going to like kiss him as they walk up to him ahhsgd  
Matteo:DO IT  
Matteo:”So..When will your future husband be single?” BITCH HES M Y HUSBAND 

Hunketh:im on the last season of the golden girls oh boy  
Matteo:Shiro,Pidge and I are on season 5  
EmoBoi:lance and i finished season 7 last week and we are now rewatching >:)  
RazzleDazzle:Sophia reminds me of pidge  
Matteo:”SHADY PINES! PIDGE!”  
Shirogayne:Blanche reminds me of lance but he’s only a slut for keith  
RazzleDazzle:MOOD  
Pidgeon:The last remaining four of us alive are the golden girls  
Hunketh:Y E S  
Pidgeon:”How was the date?” “I hated it” “why?” “Her name wasnt keith and she didnt have a mullet when she was younger” “oh my god”

 

Shirogayne:hello this is a daily reminder that I LOVE MATTHEW HOLT  
Pidgeon:WE KNOW  
RazzleDazzlei:another daily reminder that I LOVE KEITH MCCLAIN  
EmoBoi:Did...did you just use your last name with my first name RazzleDazzle:Yes EmoBoi:Omfg i love u so much Shirogayne:Nobody in voltron is straight SpaceMom:^ EmoBoi:HHH BOYS EmoBoi:i love 1 boy EmoBoi:his name is lance RazzleDazzle:i too love one boy RazzleDazzle:and he is HOT EmoBoi > Pidgeon EmoBoi:What he doesnt know..>:) Pidgeon:omfg *EmoBoi sent 1 photo* EmoBoi:Im proposing on his birthday Pidgeon:he’s probably gonna cry lmfao EmoBoi:he will Shirogayne > RazzleDazzle *Shirogayne sent 1 photo* Shirogayne:HES SO CUTE??? *RazzleDazzle sent 5 photos* RazzleDazzle:how is ur brother so damn cute omfg Shirogayne:AAAAAAA RazzleDazzle:AAAAAAA *Shirogayne sent 50 photos* RazzleDazzle:MY PHONE SHUT OFF FOR A MINUTE Shirogayne:lmfao *RazzleDazzle sent 20 photos* Shirogayne:6 of those photos are keiths ass what the fuck lance RazzleDazzle: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Shirogayne:What have you and my brother /done/ in the castleship and at your apartment Shirogayne:WAIT A MINUTE Shirogayne:I KNOW WHY KEITH WAS WEARING YOUR JACKET FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK Shirogayne:HE HAD HICKEYS ALL OVER HIS NECK RazzleDazzle: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Shirogayne:L A N C E


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> McClain sibling usernames:  
> MarcoPolo-Marco  
> OgMemelord-Veronica  
> DeadInside-Luis  
> Lonzo-Alonzo

VOLTRON  
EmoBoi:i am holding a crying boi in my arms and i want to fite half of his family  
SpaceMom:What happened?  
EmoBoi:Some people in lance’s family started an argument about why we were moving to NY,lance stated cause we dont have a lot of friends here and most of our friends are up in NY and they’re like “oh so you’re just gonna leave,come back and leave again” and he got angry and stormed out  
Pidgeon:IM GOING TO F I G H T THEM  
EmoBoi:PREPARE THE SWORDS  
CoranCoran:*Loads Gun*  
Shirogayne:AAAAA  
Matteo:FIRE THE CANNONS   
Hunketh:READY YOUR BAYARDS  
SpaceMom:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
EmoBoi:And like his sibs are pretty pissed at the rest of the family  
EmoBoi:Lance and I dont have a lot of friends here,everyone that we care about is in NY or going /TO/ NY   
EmoBoi:and using the fact that we got lost into space as an excuse is pretty shitty  
Hunketh:Like holy shit  
Hunketh:He’s moving to NY with people he cares about  
EmoBoi:Plus,he cant change plans,we’re moving to ny /May 10th/   
Pidgeon:God dammit

*EmoBoi added MarcoPolo,OgMemelord,Lonzo and DeadInside to the chat*  
MarcoPolo:Has he calmed down yet?  
EmoBoi:He cried for a solid hour and then fell asleep  
MarcoPolo:FIRE THE CANONS  
DeadInside:God i hate that side of the family  
OgMemelord:Im sad lance is leaving but like..Im happy for him y’know? He’s gonna be with his friends and im like good for u little bro im glad you’re happy   
MarcoPolo:Luis,Permission to MURDER them?  
DeadInside:Marco pls no killing people  
Lonzo:Marco yes killing people  
DeadInside:Dont encourage him,Lonzy  
Lonzo:But yeah like..im sad to see my brother go but if he’s happy then im happy,live your best life bro

*MarcoPolo added OgMemelord,DeadInside,Lonzo and RazzleDazzle to the chat*  
*MarcoPolo Renamed the chat McClain Sibs*  
RazzleDazzle:hello dear siblings not ONLY have my own damn family treated me like shit but i was just reminded dad still exists and he lives not too far from me :,) i want to jump out a window  
OgMemelord:Please dont do that keith would be sad  
MarcoPolo:Wait is he /still/ with that bitch  
RazzleDazzle:yeah and all of the sudden he calls me like “hey im sorry i was an ass can u forgive me” like no you abusive fuck  
RazzleDazzle:im so glad im moving  
DeadInside:God dammit  
RazzleDazzle:Lmfao i love allura  
RazzleDazzle:i texted her about it and she’s like “hold on im on my way with facial masks we’re gonna pretty ourselves up in this bitch”  
OgMemelord:omfg  
DeadInside:is she your clone  
RazzleDazzle:probably  
Lonzo:Im clone one and shes clone two lmfao  
RazzleDazzle:You’re like a mini version of me  
Lonzo:Im you but gayer  
RazzleDazzle:Im you but i eat ass  
MarcoPolo:shes the one with the white hair right?  
RazzleDazzle:Yeah  
RazzleDazzle:”sooo..lance...keith,huh ;)))” “alLURA NO”  
RazzleDazzle:She reminded me of y’all when she would tease me about keith >:((  
OgMemelord:>:)

 

*EmoBoi added Pidgeon,Shirogayne,Matteo,Hunketh,SpaceMom and CoranCoran to the chat*  
*EmoBoi renamed the chat Lance Protection Squad*  
EmoBoi:LOVE AND AFFECTION FOR THE BLU BOI GO GO GO

Pidgeon > RazzleDazzle  
Pidgeon:Hey remember when a guy kept flirting with me and even tho i felt rly uncomfortable and told him to stop he kept flirting and you just..decked him in the face and said “if you keep flirting with pidge you’ll get more than a deck in the face” and he ran off  
RazzleDazzle:i have 0 regrets from that  
Pidgeon:The look on his face tho PFFFT  
RazzleDazzle:He was like:”oh shiiit”  
Pidgeon:Anyways  
Pidgeon:You’re like a second brother to me dude and if you ever need a gaming buddy or just like..someone to nerd out with im your guy  
Pidgeon:you’re v important to me and if anyone treats you like shit i’ll deck them in the face as well  
RazzleDazzle:awww pidgeyy <3  
Pidgeon:Also killbot phantasom 5 is comming out and when you get your keith-loving-butt over here we’re playing that shit  
RazzleDazzle:HELL YEAH

 

Hunketh > RazzleDazzle  
Hunketh:My best friend!!!! Is the greatest!!!! Person!!!! In!!!! The!!!! World!!!!!!!  
RazzleDazzle:Aww hunkkk <3  
Hunketh:Seriously dude,you’re awesome and i couldnt ask for a better best friend  
Hunketh:You should see keith message me screaming about how gay he is for you  
Hunketh:And you two have been together for what 10 years? 15?  
*Hunketh sent 12 photos*  
RazzleDazzle:aww that dork  
Hunketh:I also may or may not have a bunch of junk for you,pidge and i to fuck around with  
RazzleDazzle:Garrison Trio Shennanigans?  
Hunketh:Garrison Trio Shennanigans indeed.

 

Shirogayne > RazzleDazzle  
Shirogayne:I know how you feel,my bilogical father had just dropped a small 1 year old shiro at an orphanage because his new girlfriend didnt like me  
RazzleDazzle:What a dick  
RazzleDazzle:Mine just..got my mom pregnant with Alonzo..denied parenty to alonzo and treated us like shit because he had an affair with a tourist  
Shirogayne:God what the hell  
Shirogayne:Like hey??? Your wife just died?? And you immediately get a new girlfriend and when she doesnt like your son you just..throw him in an orphanage where he doesnt know whats happening??  
Shirogayne:Like if he loved my mom so much why’d he immediately get a new girlfriend 2 days after she died?  
RazzleDazzle:Thats..Shitty  
RazzleDazzle:As soon as Lonzo was 2 my dad left  
RazzleDazzle:i was 14,Veronica was 18,Luis was 20 and Marco was 24 and since those three were in college and out of the house i would take care of Lonzo and when i left for the garrison i just looked at him for a few seconds and i saw the look of fear in his eyes that another person he loved would leave him and it broke me  
Shirogayne:Oh god that hurts  
Shirogayne:Whenever dad and/or pop would leave the house i’d get scared cause i thought they would abandon me like dad did  
RazzleDazzle:Dads tourist girlfriend was a complete snobby bitch who tore our family apart  
RazzleDazzle:He’s a cunt  
Shirogayne:God i bet he is  
RazzleDazzle:This is an email he sent to me:  
RazzleDazzle:”Son if we do get the chance to meet again do not bring your..”friend”..because Brittany and I will be embarrased if we are seen with a couple of the opposite gender” oh my g o d  
RazzleDazzle:Dad you arent a famous actor you work in a fucking factory its nothing special  
RazzleDazzle:Also nobody fucking cares if im with a man  
Shirogayne:Jesus christ this isnt the 1900’s anymore  
RazzleDazzle:also if we ever did meet again i would like if his girlfriend didnt come because she changed him into a toxic abusive alcoholic asshole  
Shirogayne:My aunt on my bio dads side emailed me and she was like “Im proud of you and im sorry about my dickhead brother” and “if you ever wanna come over you can bring matt with you we’d be happy to meet him”  
RazzleDazzle:Omg i love your aunt  
Shirogayne:I never even met her and ???? Shes such a sweet lady  
RazzleDazzle:Did i ever mention that my dads tourist girlfriend had six kids and a husband back home??  
Shirogayne:What the FUCK  
RazzleDazzle:Yeah,Pretty fucked up  
Shirogayne:Tf?? Ur a good human being you dont deserve that shit??  
RazzleDazzle:”Bisexuality isnt real you’re just an attention whore”  
Shirogayne:Tell him to meet my fist  
Shirogayne:Matt was like “Im gonna kick his dick” and im like “matt you can barley lift me up”  
RazzleDazzle:Lmfao   
Shirogayne:god remember that one asshole prince?? Who was like “oh im sorry but why are there two people of the opposite sex kissing,it is very wrong?” Like listen i havent seen matt in y e a r s let me kiss him  
RazzleDazzle:Or like allura who,aside from you was our fucking leader would talk and he’d be like “ladies speak last” like../no/  
RazzleDazzle:Also nobody can speak to allura like that because she /can/ and /will/ deck you in the face  
Shirogayne:”I do not approve of those two *gestures to you and keith litteraly holding hands* being around the children like that”  
RazzleDazzle:i love how the queen was like “this is why you’ll never become king”  
Shirogayne:Like /holy shit dude/

 

SpaceMom > RazzleDazzle  
SpaceMom:1) i will probably blow up these bitches if i could  
SpaceMom:2) you’re a great person and i love you to death  
RazzleDazzle:Aww thanks lura <3  
SpaceMom:On altea if you cheated on your partner or were an abusive peice of shit you’d be working for the king or in jail for the rest of your live  
SpaceMom:and i dont mean doing stuff like gaurd the king..i mean clean up after the animals or clean up the toilets..or deal with toddler allura’s hideous tantrums..  
RazzleDazzle:Oh my god

 

Matteo > RazzleDazzle  
Matteo:God i remember how i would never leave my room when shiro went missing and you had to DRAG me out of my room   
RazzleDazzle:It was easy,You’re like..half my weight almost lmfao  
Matteo:Lmfao  
Matteo:but like..Shiro was god knows where and Keith was with the Board Game of Mayonaise so we were both missing our bfs and im glad you and pidgey were there to help me through it because i dont think i could have alone  
RazzleDazzle:<33  
RazzleDazzle:Did keefy put y’all up to this?  
Matteo:he did indeed

EmoBoi > RazzleDazzle  
EmoBoi:Hi did i ever mention that i really love you????  
EmoBoi:Like i really love you?????  
EmoBoi:You’re so fucking cute and smart and funny and ?????  
EmoBoi:How did my gay ass get so lucky???  
RazzleDazzle:Aww babe <3  
EmoBoi:Like hot damn   
EmoBoi:The way how your eyes sparkle in daylight??? How your hair gets long whenever you get out of the shower?? How you’ll just give me random kisses throughout the day?? How you get excited over the rain and the beach??? Just everything about you??? i love you so much and you make me so happy and i couldnt imagine being with anyone else,you’re my best friend,my lover,my rock,my soulmate and i will love you for the rest of eternity <3  
RazzleDazzle:oh my god  
RazzleDazzle:I love you so fucking much babe  
EmoBoi:<3  
EmoBoi:Dont let your dad and your family get to you like this, they cant change the next few chapters in our life, just think about it..in a few weeks we’ll be with everyone else again   
RazzleDazzle:<3  
EmoBoi:now come upstairs we need to watch shitty documentaries together


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shenanigans, Mothers Day,palidans being PALadins and sappy shatt and klance also S E X U A L I N N U E N D O S

Pidgeon > EmoBoi  
Pidgeon:I decided not to visit my moms grave this uear and now my family is giving me shit for it and im HHHHHHHH  
EmoBoi:Tell them this  
EmoBoi:”Its my mom, not yours, fuck off”  
Pidgeon:Lmfao

 

VOLTRON  
Hunketh:today is happy mom squared day   
Hunketh:my moms are the strongest women i’ve met and if it werent for them my ass wouldnt be here  
RazzleDazzle:HAPPY MOM DAY TO ALL THE MOMS WHO GIVE A SHIT  
Shirogayne:Me and Keith,In the “i have two dads corner”:  
EmoBoi:Keith and I  
EmoBoi:Grammar, Takashi  
Shirogayne:I’LL GRAMMAR TAKASHI YOUR FACE

 

EmoBoi:”Omg keith r u free tonight” “....my hand is litteraly holding another guys hand are you blind...” “oh wow what a good friend” IM  
RazzleDazzle:HISSSSSSSSSSS  
RazzleDazzle:You’re mINEEEEEEEEEE  
EmoBoi:Oooh scary boyfriend  
RazzleDazzle:*clings onto keefy* >:( MINE  
Shirogayne:Oh my god  
EmoBoi:”Keith is such a bad boy look at how fast he’s running its like he doesnt care about the rules”  
“LANCE IS GETTING IN THE SHOWER AND I NEED TO SEE HIS ASS I GOTTA GO FAAAAAAST”  
RazzleDazzle: ;)  
Shirogayne:”Omg shiro is so hot he’s so concentrated on working out” “MATT IS GONNA BE SO FUCKING THIRSTY”  
Matteo:God mood  
Pidgeon:”Do u wanna go out” “i have no romantic attraction whatsoever” “..so is 8pm good?” “HHHHHHH”  
Pidgeon:im the scariest aro-ace in space  
Pidgeon:Also i decked that guy in the face  
RazzleDazzle:wooo go pidgey

 

EmoBoi:Wait wait i just realized  
EmoBoi:We’re palidans..we’re friends..we’re PALadins  
Shirogayne:oh my god  
RazzleDazzle:None of us are straight  
Pidgeon:Lmfao  
SpaceMom:our coalation slogan should have been “Welcome to voltron,none of us are straight”  
Matteo:Omfg yes  
Hunketh:”Bi’s,Gays,Aces and Pans all around”  
Pidgeon:y e s

EmoBoi > Pidgeon  
EmoBoi:Lancey Lance is fucking hot and im gay  
*EmoBoi sent 50 photos*  
Pidgeon:MY PHONE SHUT OFF FOR 2 SECONDS THE FUCK KEITH  
EmoBoi:HES SO HOT THO  
Pidgeon:/KEITH/  
*EmoBoi sent 100 photos*  
Pidgeon:K E I T H

 

Pidgeon > RazzleDazzle  
*Pidgeon sent 1 photo*  
Pidgeon:Congratulations this is the man you’ll spend the rest of your life with  
RazzleDazzle:omg

Voltron  
RazzleDazzle:if i ever have a daughter i want her username to be “Acelurra” or “Alluring”  
SpaceMom:lANCE MCCLAIN IF YOU NAME YOUR CHILD AFTER ME I WILL CRY  
RazzleDazzle:>:)  
SpaceMom:HOw DARE  
RazzleDazzle:<3 love u too lura  
Matteo:”Our daughter’s name is gonna be katie” “matthew holt i swear to god”  
Pidgeon:>:((((  
Pidgeon:iM GOING TO KILL YOU  
Matteo:<3  
RazzleDazzle: Allura Veronica McClain >:)))  
SpaceMom:*chucks lance off a cliff* tHATS FOR MAKING ME CRY >:(((  
RazzleDazzle:<3  
SpaceMom:hold on i have a photo of lance staring at keith back in their pining days™️  
*SpaceMom sent 1 photo*  
Pidgeon:His eyes are up there lance  
RazzleDazzle:hagsjwjehdhd  
*Hunketh sent 8 photos*  
Hunketh:Remember these photos we took for the coalation  
Shirogayne:Lmfao  
Shirogayne:Some of them we couldnt put out there lmfao  
RazzleDazzle:RIP  
EmoBoi:”Welcome to the voltron coalation! We’re all dead inside”  
Shirogayne:Im sad the one of me ass naked never got out there  
Matteo:the ass should have been censored with the words “ONLY MATTHEW HOLT CAN SEE THIS ASS”  
Pidgeon:”Welcome to the coalation, None of us have slept in weeks and we forgot what the sun looks like please help us we are dying :)))))”  
SpaceMom:”Meet the palidans!”  
“*a bunch of 16-25 year olds running around screaming*” *a few years later after the war* “*a bunch of 24-35 year olds running around screaming*”  
EmoBoi:there should have been a video like: *Shiro falling into a pit* “Fucking Finally”  
Shirogayne:I love that our houses will be close together and that we have our own land because that shits good for campfires and shennanigans  
EmoBoi:You can also fuck in the trees right  
Pidgeon:no  
Matteo:yes  
Pidgeon:no  
Matteo:yes  
Pidgeon:NO  
Matteo:YES  
*Shirogayne sent 5 photos*  
Shirogayne:Like the fact that there were three houses next to us for sale is a huge fuckin coincidence cause i was like “if we all live next to eachother that’d be some good shit”  
EmoBoi:Shiro u smell  
Shirogayne:keith ur ugly  
RazzleDazzle:OH REALLY NOW????  
EmoBoi:Rip shiro he fuckin dead  
Shirogayne:finally  
Matteo:mood  
SpaceMom:mood  
CoranCoran:mood  
Hunketh:mood  
EmoBoi:mood  
RazzleDazzle:mood  
Pidgeon:mood  
Shirogayne:Are..any of us okay??  
Pidgeon:No  
RazzleDazzle:headcannon that when keith and i are old and grey he will still look hot as fuck  
EmoBoi:oH  
Shirogayne:Lance omfg  
Matteo:S H I R O T I D D I E S  
Shirogayne:Hi i want to chuck my husband out a window  
Matteo: ;-;  
EmoBoi:...Lances thicc ass  
RazzleDazzle:OH  
Pidgeon:Can u divorce a friend  
Hunketh:ahgsdggd  
Shirogayne:Whats a four letter word for “tastes good”  
Matteo:Cock  
EmoBoi:god mood  
Hunketh:Time to cancel matt  
Pidgeon:BYEEEE *Yeets matt into the sun*

Hunketh:I found a cursed photo  
*Hunketh sent 1 photo*  
Pidgeon:PFFFFFT  
Shirogayne:WHAT IS THAT /FACE/  
EmoBoi:WHAT WAS CORAN EVEN /ON/  
CoranCoran:space drugs  
SpaceMom:IM SNORTING WHAT THE FUCK  
RazzleDazzle:OH MY GOD  
Hunketh:CORAN WHAT THE /FUCK/  
*Spacemom sent 1 photo*  
SpaceMom:kEITH HIS EYES ARE UP TH-NO THATS HIS D-K E I T H   
EmoBoi:ah yes the sacred cock  
SpaceMom:Ban keith  
*Shirogayne sent 150 photos*  
Shirogayne:this is in my folder titled “His eyes are up there keith”  
Shirogayne:hello???  
Shirogayne:anyone????  
Shirogayne:oh my god i killed everyone  
Matteo:Takashi the fuck my phone shut off for a solid 5 minutes  
EmoBoi:s h i r o


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ITS HAPPENIN YALL
> 
> (And because they’ll all see this and cry their eyes out):
> 
> I decided to dedicate this chapter and the next few chapters to the juinors,sophmores and freshman i’ll be leaving behind when i graduate. y’all are assholes, but you’re /my/ assholes and i love y’all
> 
> My yearbook club,gaming club and LGBT club assholes, i love y’all and even tho you’re bitches im gonna miss you  
> Leaving that small room is gonna be something else, It may not be something big like drama but all those memories will be left in that room for new people to make new ones
> 
> Youngins, This’ll be your shit now, Make good memories and cherish them. 
> 
> Im a huge big ball of emotions rn holy FUCK  
> (Tw for homophobia)

*EmoBoi sent 1 video*  
EmoBoi:This boy sings like an angel im???? So gay????  
EmoBoi:He’S SINgING To MEEEEEEE IM GAAAAAY  
RazzleDazzle:<3  
EmoBoi:”Cause all of me Loves all of you Love your curves and all your edges All your perfect imperfections Give your all to me I’ll give my all to you” IM   
EmoBoi:AAAAAAAA  
Matteo:tfw a cute boi sings to u  
EmoBoi:god im so gay  
RazzleDazzle:mood

RazzleDazzle:Y’all we’re reaching the final countdown  
Shirogayne:ITS TIME  
EmoBoi:Only a few more days  
Pidgeon:GET READY  
Hunketh:HERE WE GO AGAIN  
SpaceMom:Its time everyone

 

McClain Siblings  
RazzleDazzle:Its been one hell of a ride  
RazzleDazzle:Its hard to know i’ll be leaving you, its hard to think after 11 long years in space and 10 long years back home i’ll be leaving cuba for the last time  
RazzleDazzle:Stay strong with the shitty family members  
RazzleDazzle:Stay strong with “dad”  
RazzleDazzle:Stay strong with shitty ex’s and toxic friends  
RazzleDazzle:i love you guys  
RazzleDazzle:and tell mama that theres no drugs at the hotel i promise  
OgMemelord:We love you too lancey  
OgMemelord:Tell Tio Carlos and Tio Eduardo and the rest of the gang we say hi  
RazzleDazzle:I Will!

 

Hunketh > MamaGarret > MomGarret  
Hunketh:I love you guys  
Hunketh:I know i’ll be leaving soon and its hard to say goodbye  
Hunketh:thank you for everything  
Hunketh:tell the others i love them <3  
Hunketh:and yes the hotel doesnt have germs OR ALIENS  
Hunketh:i mean there was a cute rock alien but thats not the point  
Hunketh:/girls/  
MomGarret:MOOD...thats what you kids say right?  
Hunketh:Yes mom thats what we say  
Hunketh:also heres a pic of her  
*Hunketh sent 1 photo*  
MomGarret:You should have brought her here so we could cook...whatever it is aliens eat  
Hunketh:Lmfao  
MamaGarret:We love you,Hunky <3  
Hunketh:I love you too even with that eMBARRASING NICKNAME

Voltron  
RazzleDazzle: i just texted my sibs and im in a heap of emotions :,)  
Hunketh:Its sad to leave home but good that we’ll be home again :,)  
Shirogayne:its happening y’all  
Shirogayne:Alright Team...Form Voltron  
Hunketh:LEGS   
RazzleDazzle:IN POSITION  
EmoBoi:ARMS   
Pidgeon:READY TO AIM  
SpaceMom:HEART IN PLACE  
Shirogayne:AND I’LL FORM THE HEAD  
Matteo:lmfao  
Pidgeon:WE’LL BE TOGETHER AGAIN FUCKING FINALLY   
Matteo:VOLTRONS BACK BABY  
RazzleDazzle:I SAY VOL  
RazzleDazzle:AND YOU SAY  
EmoBoi:TRON!  
CoranCoran:Shennanigans arise  
SpaceMom:HELL YEAH THEY DO  
*Shirogayne renamed the chat “Voltron Family”*

CoranCoran:oh and i have to tell you something  
CoranCoran:when us alteans die, we turn into ash and are sent home, since you guys are our only home..we would like if you would bury us in your backyard.  
RazzleDazzle:1) of course we will, you’re a part of the voltron family and 2) GOD DAMN MAKING ME CRY  
Pidgeon:..i ran out of tissues  
CoranCoran:I know that the castleship had blown up but  
CoranCoran:i managed to save some stuff  
CoranCoran:remember those stones that represented each palidan of voltron?  
EmoBoi:omg yes  
*CoranCoran sent 1 photo*  
EmoBoi:o h m y g o d  
Matteo:i love how keith and lance’s stones are very close to eachother  
CoranCoran:We’ll be home again, Palidans  
RazzleDazzle:Thanks, Coran <3  
SpaceMom:Family is important in altea  
SpaceMom:which is why you’re important to us <3  
RazzleDazzle:OH GOD MORE TEARS LURA ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME SUFFER  
SpaceMom:>:3  
RazzleDazzle:my heart  
Hunketh:this is my big,dumb,crazy family and i love them  
Shirogayne:god mood  
EmoBoi:My bilogical parents who???? Idk who they are?? Fuck them when i got a “gay-for-matthew-holt” brother a hot bf and some good ass friends  
EmoBoi:My mom could be somewhere, My dad could be somewhere but honestly i dont care anymore  
Shirogayne:my bio dad can fuck off, i have family now, hes just someone i used to give a shit about  
EmoBoi:woo go shiro  
Matteo:Im not letting my fam hold me back anymore  
Pidgeon:^^^  
RazzleDazzle:Im moving to NY with friends, they cant stop me, this is my life  
EmoBoi:hey lance  
RazzleDazzle:yeah?  
EmoBoi:i love you  
RazzleDazzle:<3 i love you too  
Pidgeon:awww  
Hunketh:Hey pidgeon  
Hunketh:ur a good friend  
Pidgeon:Hahsgdhdgdhd HuNKKKK  
Hunketh:>:)  
Pidgeon:prepare for a pidgeon hug when u get here >:(  
Hunketh:Y’all should prepare for a hunk hug because none of your limbs will ever be the same

 

*Shirogayne sent 1 photo*  
Shirogayne:you have got to be fucking kidding me  
Matteo:”Gay marrige isnt real marrige because two people of the opposite sex marrying is a sin” WATCH ME BITCH  
Shirogayne:”If you have children they wont have a good life cause there will be no mother to care for them” im  
RazzleDazzle:the kid’ll still have fucking parents omfg  
EmoBoi:Being gay isnt a choice...its a game..and im fucking winning  
EmoBoi:*Points to my hot boyfriend* SEE? IM WINNING  
RazzleDazzle:Babe omfg

 

???? > RazzleDazzle  
????:Lance  
????:Its me jenny   
????:i know you’re leaving soon but i was wondering if you wanted to go out  
RazzleDazzle:uh...im in a relationship  
????:i know  
????:i just wanted to see if you’d give me another chance

Voltron Family  
*RazzleDazzle sent 1 photo*  
RazzleDazzle:ARE YOU FUCKGING KIDDING ME  
RazzleDazzle:that abusive ass bitch wants to be back in my life so she can get together with me again  
RazzleDazzle:Hunk,Keith and Pidge know the entire story but idk if Allura,Coran,Matt and Shiro do?  
Emoboi:They dont  
RazzleDazzle:Basically she /was/ keyword was hot and nice and that was like..most of the reason i dated her  
RazzleDazzle:and while i was dating her i was realizing that it was okay to feminine and i was realizing “oh fuck...i like guys too”  
RazzleDazzle:keep in mind this was during my third year at the garrison i think??  
RazzleDazzle:so like she would constantly put me down and treat me like shit  
RazzleDazzle:i was oblivious and all it took was hunk and pidge tearing her ass down when she called me an “ugly slut”  
RazzleDazzle:and then i saw keith in the hallway one day  
RazzleDazzle:and i was like “....oh...OH...OHHHHHHH”  
RazzleDazzle:then all the space stuff happened  
RazzzleDazzle:and then pidgeon dearest shoving keith and i in a room together  
RazzleDazzle:and you can figure out the rest  
Hunketh:i dont regret the black eye i gave her and honestly i’d do it again  
RazzleDazzle:GO LOOSE HUNK  
RazzleDazzle:also keith can u hold me while i text her

 

RazzleDazzle > ????  
RazzleDazzle:so let me get this straight (haha straight)  
RazzleDazzle:after you abused me for three fucking years you want to get back together?? No. Not even if you want to be “friends” or “aquatinces”  
RazzleDazzle:I am in a loving and commited relationship and i have been for 15 years  
????:15 years?? Thats a long time how r u not annoyed of being in a relationship yet  
RazzleDazzle:Because i love him??  
RazzleDazzle:also  
RazzleDazzle:Theres no way in hell i’d leave my wonderful boyfriend for an abusive ass bitch like you  
????:So thats it?? You just get kidnapped come back and never talk to me again!?  
????:What about jenny shaybon you still talk to her! You still talk to Amanda Greyson!! Why not me!?  
RazzleDazzle:thats cause the good jenny, even though she is my ex is still a good friend and she hasnt tried to interfere with my relationship, also good jenny and i ended on pretty good terms  
RazzleDazzle:also she’s bisexual too lmfao  
RazzleDazzle:also amanda and i dated in like 9th grade but broke it off cause we felt better off as friends  
RazzleDazzle:also neither of them are abusive and toxic like you because hey they never gave a shit that i liked boys too or that i was more feminine or that the fact that i played violin (you said it was a womans insturment and its not..its a fucking insturment)  
????:Have you ever considered an open relationship  
RazzleDazzle:With you? Never  
RazzleDazzle:Never contact me, or my boyfriend, or any of my friends EVER AGAIN  
*RazzleDazzle has blocked this number*

Voltron Family  
*RazzleDazzle sent 1 photo*  
EmoBoi:Wooo go lance  
RazzleDazzle:i texted the good jenny about this and shes like “..why do i share the same name as her”  
Pidgeon:Lmfao  
Shirogayne:Can i punch her in the face   
Shirogayne:with my metal arm cause that shit HURTS  
RazzleDazzle:d o i t  
Pidgeon:PEW PEW PEW  
Shirogayne:Blam Blam Bitch  
Hunketh:*Blows my saxaphone in this bitches face*  
Shirogayne:BAND GEEK SQUAD  
Pidgeon:BAND GEEK SQUAD WOO  
Hunketh:CAMPTOWN RACING  
Matteo:IM JOINING LANCE IN THE ORCHESTRA SQUAD  
SpaceMom:Altea had an orchestra squad  
SpaceMom:and guess who was the main bitch  
SpaceMom:M E  
SpaceMom:”The princess is so neat and sophisticated i bet she never makes a mess” me,stuffing my face in food:Hm?  
Shirogayne:ME  
SpaceMom:I loved how they were all like “oh the princess must be so serious and-“ “WHO WANTS TO HAVE A FOOD FIGHT BITCHES”  
RazzleDazzle:Remember that one prince who wanted to marry you and you were like “..im in the middle of a fucking war what the fuck i dont want to marry you-no i dont care about how much gac you have or-NO I DONT CARE ABOUT YOUR DICK WHAT THE FUCK”  
SpaceMom:Didnt you deck him in the face? Agsgd  
RazzleDazzle:i did  
RazzleDazzle:We were at this meeting once and allura fell asleep and we were all freaking out like “ALLURA PLEASE WAKE UP OH MY GOD W H Y” and you woke up like “...wheres the cocaine?”   
SpaceMom:IN MY DEFENSE  
Matteo:OMFG  
Hunketh:Lmfao  
RazzleDazzle:AND WE WERE LIKE “HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS???” and we all looked at shiro  
RazzleDazzle:and then he looked at pidge  
RazzleDazzle:And there is our pidgeon with her signature “yep i did that” face and we’re all like “PIDGE NO”

Shirogayne:Since theres been some negative shit recently i was thinking we could all talk about some good positive stuff thats happened latley or just good shit in general  
Matteo:Ooh yess  
Pidgeon:i’ll go first  
Pidgeon:The nicknames “Pidgeon and Pidgey” are the best nicknames ever given to me  
Pidgeon:Hence why this is my username  
RazzleDazzle:aww pidgey <3  
RazzleDazzle:Ooh i got one  
RazzleDazzle:I /still/ say “what the cheese” and “holy crow” and im 26  
RazzleDazzle:also i still have pidgeys headphones  
*RazzleDazzle sent 1 photo*  
RazzleDazzle:Suprisingly they still work  
Pidgeon:omfg  
Hunketh:i carry around a dumb selfie we took in my wallet all the time  
Hunketh:it was after a big mission and we decided to fuck around w/ photos  
*Hunketh sent 1 photo*  
EmoBoi:ah the pining days  
EmoBoi:..past me..his eyes are up there..i know his ass is pretty cute but  
Matteo:LMFAO  
Shirogayne:I remember this one group photo we took with our lions in the background  
*Shirogayne sent 1 photo*  
Matteo:..shiro tiddes...up close...i need to touch  
Pidgeon:Who is matthew holt? Idk him  
Matteo:HURT  
*SpaceMom sent 1 photo*  
SpaceMom:this was from pidge,lance and i’s “Gossip about shit” nights  
SpaceMom:Lance talked about keiths ass for like five minutes and his entire face turned red and he covered his face with a pillow and pidge and i were cracking up  
*SpaceMom sent 1 photo*  
SpaceMom:This was when we ate too much food goo as a dare to see who’d eat it the most  
SpaceMom:i won  
RazzleDazzle:We’re having a fucking rematch  
SpaceMom:Hell yeah we are  
Pidgeon:We also had a “who can screech the most” contest  
Hunketh:lmfao  
EmoBoi:Didnt we have a huge gossip/spa night one time  
Hunketh:We had a kareoke night and you two almost fucked  
EmoBoi:What do you mean almost?  
Hunketh:...  
Hunketh:how do you divorce a friend  
RazzleDazzle:shdhdhgdgd  
Hunketh:L a nCE  
RazzleDazzle:>:)  
Pidgeon:Jfc you two

Shirogayne:Im gay???????? Its more likely than you think  
Pidgeon:wE GET IT YOU L O V E MATTHEW HOLT  
Shirogayne:I LOVE MATTHEW HOLT  
RazzleDazzle:I LOVE KEITH  
EmoBoi:I LOVE LANCE  
Pidgeon:*Slams face on desk*  
Hunketh:RIP

 

RazzleDazzle > Emoboi  
RazzleDazzle:my dad emailed me again  
*RazzleDazzle sent 1 photo*  
EmoBoi:God he’s an ass  
EmoBoi:”its concerning how you say goodbye to everyone else but not to me”  
RazzleDazzle:hE NEVER SAID GOODBYE TO ME  
RazzleDazzle:HE JUST FUCKING LEFT US  
RazzleDazzle:NO BYE NO WARNING NO EXPLENATION ECXPLENATION HOWEVER THE FUCK YOU SPELL IT NO NOTHING  
RazzleDazzle:JUST “oh i fucked a whore bye lol”  
RazzleDazzle:was i just...not good enough? Is that it? Is that why he left?? Because of me??  
EmoBoi:Babe no it was /never/ because of you   
EmoBoi:He’s a peice of shit who left you and your family because he decided that a random bimbo he met at the beach was more important than his own family  
EmoBoi:the fact that he treated you like shit is /not/ your fault  
RazzleDazzle: :(((( i feel like crying i need u to hold me  
EmoBoi:<3 of course

EmoBoi > Pidgeon  
*EmoBoi sent 1 photo*  
EmoBoi:i want to protect this boy with my life  
Pidgeon:Can i murder his dad  
EmoBoi:he said “go ahead”   
Pidgeon:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
Pidgeon:Lance is like an older brother to me so anyone who hurts him can face the wrath of the pidgeon  
EmoBoi:ooooh soo scaryyy  
Pidgeon:i WILL FIGHT YOU  
EmoBoi:*whispers* 5’2  
Pidgeon:HMPH >:( i hate u  
EmoBoi:>:)  
EmoBoi:You love me  
Pidgeon:1%  
EmoBoi:how  
EmoBoi:how dare  
Pidgeon:ahsgdgdg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep thats right y’all..the end of this fic is near  
> Be ready >:)(like the end of summer i think ahdgdgd)
> 
> But hey at least there might be a sequel?
> 
> This entire fic was dedicated to the class of 2018 and my club pals, they inspired me to write fics when i thought i was bad at them
> 
> So thank you for comming, thank you for staying and thank you for watching the show  
> (ok ko refrence if any of y’all got that ;D)


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright since i kept losing this fic i just did a uhhh 2 week timeskip, they’re all together and yeahhh

Shirogayne:pride month bitches  
Matteo:WOOO  
EmoBoi:/we need a Klance/Shatt double date/  
Matteo:yES  
Shirogayne:FUCK YES  
Hunketh:Lions Bakery is hiring bitchesss  
Hunketh:i’ve gotten like twenty applications so far(exluding pidgey,keefers and shirhoe)  
Shirogayne:”shirhoe” im dying  
EmoBoi:...keefers sounds like what a 90 year old would name a cat  
RazzleDazzle:lmao  
Matteo:one word: i like ass  
Pidgeon:u horse cow that isnt one word  
Matteo:horse cow?  
Pidgeon:cause ur weird   
Matteo:bite me  
Pidgeon:im not shiro   
Shirogayne:LMAO  
Pidgeon:can your room please be soundproof im begging you  
Matteo:lmao  
EmoBoi:hey lance ur ass is nice  
Pidgeon:help me  
Hunketh:you love us  
Pidgeon:1%  
Hunketh:>:)  
SpaceMom:how to get keith to do anything: 1) Say lance is naked or 2) Mothman  
EmoBoi:tru

EmoBoi:”why cant there be a straight pride day!? nobody cares that you’re gay!” im  
RazzleDazzle:christ  
RazzleDazzle:why are people like this  
EmoBoi:also i posted a pic of lance and i at pride on insta and i got a bunch of homophobic jackasses commenting on it and calling me shit :))  
Pidgeon:LETS FIGHT SOME BITCHES  
Shirogayne:god i got so many too  
Shirogayne:LET GUYS KISS GUYS  
*EmoBoi sent 1 photo*  
RazzleDazzle:I LIKE BOYS AND I LIKE GIRLS  
RazzleDazzle:but like i REAAAALLY LIKE THIS ONE BOY NAMED KEITH HES LIKE SUPER HOT  
EmoBoi:<3  
RazzleDazzle:<3  
Pidgeon:/flirting/

EmoBoi > RazzleDazzle  
EmoBoi:Rip jenny contacted me at first and i thought it was the bad jenny and i got spooked  
RazzleDazzle:lmao  
RazzleDazzle:what’d she say?  
EmoBoi:She said that bitchface had tried comming over to her house and wanted to “talk” and wouldnt leave jennys property and she called the cops  
RazzleDazzle:jesus christ  
EmoBoi:also i just took the bedsheets out of the dryer so they’re all nice and warm <3  
RazzleDazzle:<3 just like you  
EmoBoi:<3

Voltron Family  
*Shirogayne changed the group name to “Form Gaytron”*  
Matteo:MOOD  
Hunketh:yES  
EmoBoi: Someone on my insta:”i give them a month” Pidge:”they’ve been dating for 15 years” person:*proceeds to block pidge*  
Pidgeon:lmao  
EmoBoi:IM GAY FOR LANCE  
RazzleDazzle:IM GAY FOR KEITH  
Shirogayne:ass  
Matteo:mood  
SpaceMom:gays  
SpaceMom:*guys  
SpaceMom:y’know what same thing  
EmoBoi:LMFAO

 

Pidgeon > SpaceMom  
Pidgeon:lura  
Pidgeon:luraaaaaaaa  
Pidgeon:remember the 5 dollars u owe me  
SpaceMom:nooo  
Pidgeon:ALLURA ALTEA I SWEAR TO THE ALL MIGHTY QUIZNACK  
SpaceMom: >:)


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the aaaaaaangst  
> also..SHAYS BACK

EmoBoi > Pidgeon  
EmoBoi:lance got really sigk and im yh freakhing outt  
EmoBoi:we’re at hospiztal but  
EmoBoi:m scared  
Pidgeon:what happened!?  
EmoBoi:he said he had a horrible stomach ache, it was worse than normal ones  
EmoBoi:he ended up puking in the bathroom and then he passsed oht   
EmoBoi:im in the aiting room and allura and coran are with me  
EmoBoi:can y’all come over pls im scared   
Pidgeon:alright, i notified hunk and the lovebirds  
Pidgeon:we’ll be there

 

Hunketh > Matteo  
Hunketh:hey im at the hospital  
Hunketh:whats the room number?  
Matteo:34.  
Matteo:Keith is freaking out and we’re all trying to calm him down  
Matteo:they’ll let us see lance soon  
Hunketh:that was really sudden  
Hunketh:does keith know what happened?  
Matteo:he thinks it may have been something from a bar they went to  
Hunketh:alright im walking in

 

MarcoPolo > EmoBoi  
MarcoPolo:hey  
MarcoPolo:how’s lance?  
EmoBoi:he’s..okay but like  
EmoBoi:he’s in so much pain  
EmoBoi:i think it was something from a bar we went to but im not sure  
MarcoPolo:Tia Maria is blaming you for this and i decked her in the face with 0 hesitation  
EmoBoi:Lance just gave you a thumbs up

 

EmoBoi > RazzleDazzle  
EmoBoi:hey ik ur taking a nap at the hospital rn but im in a grocery store parking lot and im thinking about the fact that today i almost lost you and that i love you so damn much and i want to cherish every single moment we have together, there were many times we’ve almost lost eachother during the war, but i do not want to lose you while we’re building our future, i love you so much starboy <3  
RazzleDazzle:<3 this was a great thing to wake up to, i love you.  
RazzleDazzle:Coran made some altean soup  
EmoBoi:hahshdhd  
RazzleDazzle:babe holy shit this tastes really good  
RazzleDazzle:i asked him to make a bowl for my future husband <3  
EmoBoi:nahshdhdgd  
EmoBoi:BOY YOU GIVE ME FEELINGS

EmoBoi > Pidgeon  
*EmoBoi sent 1 photo*  
EmoBoi:I-AAAAAAA  
Pidgeon:Keith you gay disaster  
EmoBoi:HES SO ADORABLE IM

 

Form Gaytron  
SpaceMom:Hey hunk  
SpaceMom:you’re welcome  
*SpaceMom added RockPuns to the chat*  
RockPuns:Guess who’s back  
RockPuns:BACK AGAIN  
RockPuns:Shay is back  
RockPuns:TELL A FRIEND  
Hunketh:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
RockPuns:hi hunk <3  
Hunketh:hi shay <3  
Pidgeon:HUNAY IS BACK  
Matteo:the holy trinity of ships is back  
Matteo:Shatt, Hunay and Klance

 

RazzleDazzle:this hospital bed feels why  
RazzleDazzle:i miss my heating pad :(  
RazzleDazzle:But i have a keith <3  
EmoBoi:<3  
Shirogayne:how are you holding up?  
RazzleDazzle:my head feels less..light, stomach still hurts like a bitch though, nurses have been giving me some medicine to soothe the pain. Coran gave me some good altean soup though and it helped a lot   
Shirogayne:i’m glad you’re feeling better  
Pidgeon:i’m glad you’re okay  
EmoBoi:so am i <3  
RazzleDazzle:also, hi shay, nice to see you again!  
RockPuns:Hey Lance!  
Hunketh:aAAAAAA i’m still screaming  
RockPuns:dork  
Hunketh:ur cute  
RockPuns:so are you  
RazzleDazzle:awwwww   
RazzleDazzle:hunay is being soft

Pidgeon > Matteo  
Pidgeon:so, fathers day?  
Pidgeon:honestly i just want to forget about fathers day because..it hurts..but i have to be reminded on facebook about him 24/7  
Matteo:yeah i just  
Matteo:our family can be too much sometimes  
Matteo:hence, why i love our voltron family  
Pidgeon:they’re good eggs

 

Form Gaytron  
RockPuns:How to tell ur brother to fuck off kindly 101:  
RockPuns:actually deck him in the face  
RazzleDazzle:shay, important question, do u know memes  
RockPuns:..yes  
RockPuns:mostly alien memes  
RockPuns:theres an altean meme that i dont think i should put here  
SpaceMom:is it../that/..one  
RockPuns:Yeahhh  
SpaceMom:lmfao  
RockPuns:i made a hunk meme  
RockPuns:”He really does live up to his name”  
Hunketh:aAAAAAAA  
RockPuns:i broke hunk  
Shirogayne:Hunk is a disaster

RockPuns:i just realized its been like..10 or so years since you guys left holy fuck  
RockPuns:also hunk is..oh boy  
*Hunketh sent 1 photo*  
RockPuns:Shay.exe has stopped working

Hunketh > Pidgeon  
Hunketh:aaand the cake results are  
*hunketh sent 1 photo*  
Pidgeon:oh my god  
Pidgeon:...i want to dig my hands in it  
Hunketh:no  
Pidgeon:yes  
Hunketh:nO  
Pidgeon:Y E S

Form Gaytron  
*SpaceMom sent 1 photo*  
SpaceMom:they fell asleep like this when i left  
Pidgeon:AWWW  
Hunketh:adorable  
Shirogayne:fucking LOOK AT THEM  
Shirogayne:also rip matt fell asleep  
SpaceMom:whhshd  
SpaceMom:i need to sleep too holy shit  
Pidgeon:hagsgdb  
Hunketh:is she asleep?  
Shirogayne:just checked  
Shirogayne:..yeah


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A blast to the past:  
> This chapter is set after the war, emails between Shiro and Lance before the making of the groupchat  
> [also: warning for sexual refrences]

To: Lance McClain   
From: Takashi Shirogane  
Subject:Long time no see!  
Hey Lance, judging by who sent you this..its shiro  
Pidge, Matt and I have been in contact with Hunk recently(mostly pidge over video games) and Hunk gave me your email because hes been chatting with you as well.  
Its been a long fuckin time since we’ve seen eachother last(since we landed on earth) hows everything going with you? 

 

To: Takashi Shirogane  
From: Lance McClain  
Re:Long time no see!  
Takashi Shirogane...i havent heard that name in years, ha jk..nice to talk to you again..i’ve been in contact with hunk and pidge as well. Your brother is still being emo like always, cut his hair shorter and DAMN BOI LOOKING LIKE A SNACC  
Hows memethew doing? 

 

To: Lance McClain  
From: Takashi Shirogane  
Re:Long time no see!  
Pfft! Nice to see you havent changed, memethew is doing well, hot snacc cut his hair and OH FUCK im gay  
Pidgeon dearest is still a snarky gremlin child like always.  
I miss Coran and Allura though, they would have loved to see us reach earth.

To: Takashi Shirogane  
From: Lance McClain  
Re:Long time no see!  
Of course she is, snarky gremlin child but we still love her, lol  
I miss them too, when they sacrificed themselves for us my heart stopped, i wish they could have seen us reunite with their families.  
But..we never found their bodies amongst the chaos after the battle, thats kinda strange isnt it?

To: Lance McClain  
From: Takashi Shirogane  
Re:Long time no see!  
Ooh we’re solving mysteries, i’ve always wanted to solve a mystery  
I’ve actually been thinking about that too..we SAW their bodies during the gunfire, so how would their bodies just..dissapeer like that?  
It may be my crazy brain thinking this but..what if they /arent/ dead..what if they survived but..they were lost in the gunfire..

To: Takashi Shirogane  
From: Lance McClain  
Re:Long time no see!  
Actually..thats a good theory.  
also can i just say when hunk was crying over shay when we were leaving it broke my heart :((  
poor guy misses her so much

To: Lance McClain  
From: Takashi Shirogane  
Re:Long time no see!  
remember when we stayed overnight on a planet on our way to earth and he was just..broken  
ouch..my heart  
Also, the holts blaming themselves for their moms death and not finding their dad is..:(((( it breaks my heart  
it isnt their faults, we couldnt find Sam in time and they arent at fault for that  
I had to hold a crying matt in my arms on fathers day because he kept blaming himself

To: Takashi Shirogane  
From: Lance McClain  
Re:Long time no see!  
God i feel bad for them, they need to know they arent at fault for anything  
Also erm..i may have wrote something about my time in space, i think its kinda like a poem but??  
-1 Link Attached-

To: Lance McClain  
From: Takashi Shirogane  
Re:Long time no see!  
Oh my god..this is amazing..  
“Lord give me a hothead whos eyes sparkle like every star in the sky, whos hair smells like cinnamon and smiles like an angel” wonder who thats about hm? ;))   
“Lord give me a hero-..who despite being serious..acts like a complete goofball when hes around friends” dONT CALL ME OUT LIKE THIS  
“Lord give me a sweet sunshine boy who makes everyone around him happy” TRUTH  
“Lord give me a short and snarky technician..who would fight through hell and back for her family-“ thats pidgey for you  
“Lord give me a princess who can fight like a badass” she threw me across a fucking room once  
“Lord give me a wacky space uncle who treats a bunch of humans like his own children” THATS WHY I LOVE HIM  
“Lord give me a team, give me a team who..despite risking their lives each day have eachothers backs through thick and thin”  
“Lord..dont give me a team..give me a family”  
UH?? IM CRYING?? HOW DARE??

From: Lance McClain  
To: Takashi Shirogane  
Re:Long time no see!  
>:) thats the point  
Also Keith drew my entire fucking ass once  
HE COLORED IT AND ALL IM NOT KIDDING I HAVE A PHOTO  
-1 photo attached-

From: Takashi Shirogane  
To: Lance McClain  
Re:Long time no see!  
LMFAO OH MY GOD  
OF COURSE HE WOULD  
God back during the pining days the only things he would yell to me about were 1) your ass and 2) your crotch  
“HIS DICKS GOTTA BE HUGE”  
God hes a fucking disaster

From: Lance McClain  
To: Takashi Shirogane  
Re:Long time no see!  
Lmao..well at least he got the real thing ;)  
Also im thinking of creating a groupchat so we can get the entire gang back together, what do you think?

From: Takashi Shirogane  
To: Lance McClain  
Re:Long time no see!  
Hell yeah, go for it dude!

 

From: Lance McClain  
To: Takashi Shirogane  
Re:Long time no see!  
Alrighty, here it is!  
-1 link attached-  
REUNITED AND IT FEELS SO GOOOD


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Palasquad Roadtrip + a LOT of implied sex/sexual refrences/sexual innuendoes

Pidgeon:guys guys i have an idea  
Pidgeon:/Palasquad Roadtrip/  
Shirogayne:YES  
Matteo:wE HAVE AN RV  
Matteo:its heckin giant  
Hunketh:will it fit all of us?  
Pidgeon:Uhh   
Pidgeon:lets see, Theres 7 of us? The couch and tables can turn into a bed, in the hallway theres like..a bunkbed thing? So yeah  
Hunketh:i may or may not be talking to shay rn  
Pidgeon:i can see you through my binoculars   
Pidgeon:BOYS SMILIN LIKE A DORK  
Pidgeon:hES TALKING TO SHAY  
*RockPuns sent 1 photo*  
Hunketh:>:0 I’VE BEEN EXPOSED  
RockPuns:;D  
RazzleDazzle:pALASQUAD ROADTRIP?  
EmoBoi:YEET  
EmoBoi:Lance and i will be using the bathroom for most of the time ;)  
CoranCoran:do you guys have what you humans call..diarrhea?  
SpaceMom:coran  
SpaceMom:read what keith said out loud  
CoranCoran:...  
CoranCoran:oH  
CoranCoran:NOT IN MY HOUSE  
Shirogayne:NO FUCKING IN MY RV  
Pidgeon:oh like you and matt didnt the last time we were in the RV  
Shirogayne:..  
Shirogayne:i’ve been exposed  
Pidgeon:mY GRANDPA THOUGHT YOU TWO HAD DIARRHEA   
Pidgeon:I HAD TO EXPLAIN TO THAT SWEET INNOCENT OLD MAN THAT HIS GRANDSON WAS GETTING HIS ASS FUCKED TO HELL  
Matteo:RIP GRANDPA  
EmoBoi:oh my god  
RazzleDazzle:i told my grandma that Keith had ran a few miles when she asked why Keith was walking funny..  
Shirogayne:PFFT  
RockPuns:heyy yall know how hunk went on a two day solo mission? well uh..on the second day he spent uh..half of said day at the balmera doing...things...  
Shirogayne:oh my god  
SpaceMom:SHAY ARE YOU SAYING WHAT I THINK YOU’RE SAYING  
RockPuns:..yes  
EmoBoi:hUNK FUCKED AN ALIEN!?  
Hunketh:WHY DID YOU THINK I CAME BACK TO THE CASTLESHIP WITH DISHEVELED HAIR AND A GRIN ON MY FACE?  
RazzleDazzle:OH MY GOD  
RockPuns:more like hunk got fucked BY an alien  
Hunketh:>:0  
Pidgeon:agsgd  
Matteo:Yall are wild  
Pidgeon:REMEMBER WHEN KEITH DROPPED SOMETHING TO GIVE LANCE A BJ AND WAS ACTING REAL SUBTILE BUT WE ALL KNEW  
SpaceMom:hahsgdh

Hunketh:i just realized  
Hunketh:i have about..60 spare headbands in a bag..  
Shirogayne:oH MY GOD  
RazzleDazzle:i have my pining playlist  
EmoBoi:i HAVE MINE TOO  
EmoBoi:mines called “Lance please love me im gay and desperate”  
RazzleDazzle:mines called “Keith pls let me love you im desperate”  
Matteo:my pining playlist was called “shiro can crush me”  
RockPuns:”he really DOES live up to his name”  
Hunketh:”wow aliens are hot”  
Shirogayne:”im attracted to nerds”  
Pidgeon:oh my god  
CoranCoran:my uh..alfor pining playlist is uh..too explicit i think..  
RazzleDazzle:SAY IT  
CoranCoran:”You can call me sir anyday your majesty ;)”  
SpaceMom:*SLAMS FACE ON DESK*  
RazzleDazzle:i HEARD THAT THUD  
RazzleDazzle:lURA OMG  
Matteo:RIP ALLURA  
SpaceMom:i am so done  
SpaceMom:PUNT ME INTO THE SUN THANKS  
RazzleDazzle:YOU ALMOST DID  
SpaceMom:I SAID I WAS SORRY  
Shirogayne:hagsgs  
*EmoBoi sent 1 photo*  
*EmoBoi deleted 1 photo*  
EmoBoi:ITNDS IFBDRSOYLRSY IGNORE THAT   
Shirogayne:keith  
EmoBoi:IM NOT TELLING YOU  
Shirogayne:keith.  
EmoBoi:NO  
Shirogayne:Keith.  
EmoBoi:>:(  
RazzleDazzle:Keith  
EmoBoi:...  
RazzleDazzle:Keith.  
EmoBoi:..it was erm..a almost dick pic  
EmoBoi:i meant to send it to lance  
Shirogayne:KEITH NO  
Shirogayne:also when lance gets stern with you you immediately give an awnser  
Shirogayne:HMMM  
Shirogayne:I WONDER ;)  
EmoBoi:SHHH

Pidgeon:fuck hi i took shot  
Pidgeon:SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS  
Matteo:and we witness a drunk pidgeon in her natural habitat  
Pidgeon:One tim we Shatt left their door open and they were fcYUCKING So I tHREW SOmEy thing at them and Matt screammed  
Mateo:duck you  
Pidgeon:y yuo aee fucking ga gyay  
Shirogayne:pidge oh my god

Pidgeon:im fudccficking drunkk and zaspsappy  
Pidgeon:i fhcking love this goddamn team so mych holsy shitvs  
Pidgeon:YUO ALL DESeRRV E LOVEE LOVESSF UR DRUENK PIDGGON FRE ND  
RazzleDazzle:we love u too pidgey <3  
EmoBoi:now take a nap  
Pidgeon:n o  
EmoBoi:pidgey, as your honarary brother figure you have to take a nap  
RazzleDazzle:seconded  
Matteo:thirded  
Hunketh:fourthed  
Pidgeon:fiiin e  
Pidgeon:fufcking love u dorks  
Hunketh:good nugget pidgey, we love you too

 

Shirogayne:THE RV IS READY  
EmoBoi:my ass is ready for lances dick  
Shirogayne:why  
EmoBoi:because


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The palasquad takes a roadtrip, Shatt, Hunay and Klance are insanely in love, Hunk makes friendship bracelets, Hunk and Shay are touch starved, the team shares memories, Shay tells space stories and baby pictures are shared

Hunketh:day 1 of the palasquad roadtrip  
Hunketh:i like these bunk beds  
Pidgeon:hahssahs  
Matteo:we should have mock elections  
RazzleDazzle:THATS GENIUS  
EmoBoi:cutest couple is uhh klance  
Matteo:no its shatt  
EmoBoi:klance  
Matteo:shatt  
EmoBoi:CALL IT MIRO NOT SHATT  
Matteo:MIRO IS FOR COWARDS  
Pidgeon:oh my god  
Pidgeon:space padre is driving he cant argue  
Matteo:ahshhs  
RockPuns:these coalation toys are still selling like hotcakes  
RockPuns:i brought..a lot of hunk merch..and i mean A LOT  
Hunketh:oh my god  
Matteo:gagsgdb  
Matteo:also hi yes concentrated space dad is HOT  
Matteo:like mmm gimme some of those muscles thanks  
Pidgeon:wait until space dad scans the chat and sees this  
Matteo:RIP

RockPuns > Hunketh  
RockPuns:i want cuddles BUT YOU ARENT HERE AND I HATE IT  
Hunketh: :((( i hate it too  
RockPuns:lIKE CAN I JUST TELEPORT TO EARTH, FUCK HUNK AND GO BACK HOME  
RockPuns:**CUDDLE  
RockPuns:I SWEAR I MEANT CUDDLE  
Hunketh:( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Form Gaytron  
*EmoBoi changed the chat name to Lance Month*  
EmoBoi:ITS MY BOYFRIENDS MONTH BITCHES  
RazzleDazzle:<3  
EmoBoi:<3  
Shirogayne:yeet its matts turn to drive  
Shirogayne:hes v v focused and its hOT  
Shirogayne:like focus on ME like that damn  
Pidgeon:oh my god  
Shirogayne:i just *SOBS* really love matt  
Pidgeon:we know shiro  
Shirogayne:I LOVE HIM PIDGE

 

Pidgeon:yall remember those times we’d all just sit in the lounge and talk without the worries of the world  
SpaceMom:those were some good times  
Pidgeon:just..days where we could sit and relax and get to know eachother more  
Hunketh:remember that one time we had a kareoke night??  
Pidgeon:YES  
EmoBoi:remember the scary stories we’d tell eachother?  
RazzleDazzle:or the times we would pile up and sleep in the lounge after a mission  
Shirogayne:the pining days when keith would “accidentally” snuggle up to lance  
EmoBoi:hahshd  
Hunketh:MOVIE NIGHTS  
EmoBoi:Birthday celebrations  
Pidgeon:YEE THOSE WERE GOOD  
RazzleDazzle:Video game nights  
Shirogayne:”which couple is fucking loudly tonight”  
Pidgeon:LMFAO  
Shirogayne:god i sometimes miss those days  
Shirogayne:the fighting was..something but those small moments inbetween where we just got to hang out and know eachother better  
Hunketh:i learned so many alien food recipes

RockPuns:i was going to say something but grandmas watching ahdhd

RazzleDazzle:hUNK MADE FRIENDSHIP BRACELETS   
EmoBoi:YEET  
SpaceMom:THEY’RE GOOD  
Hunketh:hahshd  
Matteo:hi yes i have pidgeons baby picturesss  
Pidgeon:MATT NO  
Matteo:MATT YES  
*Matteo sent 1 photo*  
Hunekth:AWWWW  
SpaceMom:ADORABLE  
*Pidgeon sent 8 photos*  
EmoBoi:BABY WEEB BOI  
EmoBoi:i have baby shiro  
*EmoBoi sent 20 photos*  
Matteo:cUTE  
Shirogayne:we’re at a stop so 1) fight me keith and 2)  
*Shirogayne sent 15 photos*  
RazzleDazzle:THATS MY BOYFRIEND  
*RazzleDazzle sent 10 photos*  
EmoBoi:HOLY SHIT   
*Hunketh sent 18 photos*  
RockPuns:shay is dead shay no longer exists  
Hunketh:I BROKE HER

RockPuns:SO UH  
RockPuns:i ran into this one dude who keeps thinking the paladins of voltron are a hoax   
RockPuns:LIKE DUDE  
RockPuns:YOU LIVE HERE, YOU WERE BORN BEFORE THE RISE OF VOLTRON  
RockPuns:YOU WERE THERE WHEN THE BALMERA WAS BEING ATTACKED AND THE PALIDANS HELPED US  
Pidgeon:oh my god  
Pidgeon:how old is this dude  
RockPuns:like..around 40  
Pidgeon:agsgdbd  
RockPuns:also yall know that one asshole prince?  
RockPuns:well he got what was comming to him lmao  
RockPuns:he was thrown in jail lmao  
RazzleDazzle:yEET


	20. Chapter 20

*EmoBoi added MamaMcClain, AubelaIsComming and OgMemelord to the chat*  
EmoBoi:so i added you three here because 1) you’re lances mom, grandma and oldest sibling  
EmoBoi:and two because uh  
EmoBoi:i’m going to propose to Lance on his birthday  
MamaMcClain:FINALLY  
*EmoBoi sent 1 photo*  
OgMemelord:thats so fuckin pretty  
EmoBoi:yeah it was..a LOT of money  
EmoBoi:but its worth it because LANCE  
AubelaIsComming:thats wonderful keith! Veronica when are you proposing to your lady friend?  
OgMemelord:WEVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR LIKE 4 WEEKS AUBELA   
EmoBoi:Oh? Worm? Does veronica have a girlfriend i hear?  
OgMemelord:SHHHHH  
OgMemelord:DONT TELL LANCE  
EmoBoi:>:)

EmoBoi > RazzleDazzle   
EmoBoi:pssst  
EmoBoi:veronica has a gf  
RazzleDazzle:Oh?? Worm??

RazzleDazzle > OgMemelord  
RazzleDazzle:oh?? worm??? a gf i hear??  
OgMemelord:i hate you  
RazzleDazzle:u love me  
OgMemelord:1%  
RazzleDazzle:HURT

LANCE MONTH  
Shirogayne:Do i radiate big dick energy  
Matteo:let me test that out ;)  
Shirogayne:gladly ;)  
Pidgeon:I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD  
EmoBoi:RIP

Matteo:he has MEGA dick energy  
EmoBoi:..why are you like this  
Matteo:i’m getting married to your brother and have known him for years you know EXACTLY why im like this  
EmoBoi:hahsgd  
Pidgeon:I hate you  
Matteo:u love me  
Pidgeon:pewwish  
SpaceMom:why did i let these hooligans defend the universe  
RazzleDazzle:says the woman who shoved her entire face in food goo and tried to take a joyride in blue while drunk  
RazzleDazzle:think before u speak, ‘lura  
SpaceMom:i have been called out  
SpaceMom:aLSO I WASNT DRUNK  
RazzleDazzle:yes u were  
*RockPuns sent 1 video*  
SpaceMom:oh my god  
RockPuns:also hunk i may or may not be the reason all the hunk merch sold out hAHAHAHAHA  
SpaceMom:SHAY  
RockPuns:HES MY BOYFRIEND  
Hunketh:hwhshdhx  
RockPuns:LET ME LOVE HIM  
EmoBoi:shay..hows the lance merch  
RockPuns:good as always  
EmoBoi:GOOD

*RazzleDazzle sent 1 photo*  
RockPuns:is that keith sitting in your lap?  
*Shirogayne sent 1 photo*  
RockPuns:LMAO  
Hunketh:may or may not be talking to shay rn  
Pidgeon:HES TALKING TO SHAY  
Hunketh:I LOVE HER  
Shirogayne:uhh also HYPE FOR SHATT WEDDING  
Matteo:i want to see ur tux >:(  
Shirogayne:TOO BAD YOU HAVE TO WAIT  
Matteo:dAMMIT

 

RockPuns > Hunketh  
Hunketh:i found a rock with some small spikes on it, i named it shay  
RockPuns:havxbxb  
RockPuns:ur a dork  
Hunketh:so r u

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bsbdbdvd wow i have a lot of arcs  
> 1\. Shatt wedding  
> 2\. Klance proposal  
> 3\. ___  
> 4.______  
> 5\. ___ and ____  
> I..have a problem  
> JGCVNHFAVVDDCV  
> I NEED TO UPDATE YMAYSH AND A FEW OTHER FICS BUT IM LAZY


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Woop timeskip(like two weeks) and oh shiro and matt are now married  
> oh and uh fUCKIN NEW PLOT

Shirogayne:i,,,love matthew shirogane.,my HUSBAAAAAAAND  
Matteo:I LOVE MY HUSBAND TAKASHI SHIROGANE  
Pidgeon:you two have been married for like a day oml  
Matteo:IM IN LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE  
EmoBoi:hahshd  
Matteo:HUSBAND HUSBAND HUSBAND HUSBAAAAAAND  
Hunketh:hshsgd disasters  
Shirogayne:also PIDGE YOUR SPEECH  
Pidgeon:how i didnt cry was a miracle  
EmoBoi:MOOD  
EmoBoi:also look at my boyf sleeping like an angel  
*EmoBoi sent 5 photos*  
Pidgeon:look at hiim  
EmoBoi:<3 i love him  
EmoBoi:also uhhhh lance obviously wont scroll up knowing him but uh  
*EmoBoi sent 1 photo*  
EmoBoi:i already told pidge but uh  
EmoBoi:im proposing on his birthday  
Hunketh:FUCKING FINALLY  
Shirogayne:WEVE ALL BEEN WAITING  
SpaceMom:oh thank god

Garrison Trio  
Hunketh:yall..killbot phantasom?  
RazzleDazzle:hELL YEAH  
Pidgeon:YEET  
Hunketh:COME OVER TO MY HOUSE FUCKERS

*EmoBoi added Pidgeon, Shirogayne, Hunketh, SpaceMom, CoranCoran and RockPuns to the chat*  
*EmoBoi remamed the chat Operation: Klance Proposal*  
EmoBoi:alright so like as i said  
EmoBoi:on lances birthday i’m gonna need a distraction  
Hunketh:alright, pidge and i are playing killbot phantasom w/ him so mabye we could do that?  
EmoBoi:sounds good  
EmoBoi:has he mentioned a proposal?  
Hunketh:none at all  
EmoBoi:Gay  
EmoBoi:*good  
EmoBoi:eh same thing

EmoBoi > Pidgeon  
EmoBoi:god i love him so much im ????   
EmoBoi:I JUST REALLY LOVE HIM  
EmoBoi:HES THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE  
EmoBoi:i want to marry him right now  
EmoBoi:just forget the world and marry the love of my life  
EmoBoi:im getting emotional oh my god  
EmoBoi:i just  
EmoBoi:i love him  
Pidgeon:ahsgd   
Pidgeon:dork

LANCE MONTH  
Pidgeon:my last brain cells: PENIS HAHA  
Pidgeon:can you believe im 24  
EmoBoi:ahshd  
EmoBoi:mood  
Hunketh:guys im  
Hunketh:lions bakery is opening tommorow  
Hunketh:the grand opening  
Hunketh:IM NERVOUS  
RockPuns:you can do this <3  
Hunketh:<3  
Hunketh:I WISH YOU WERE HERE AAA  
RockPuns:i miss youu  
Hunketh:i miss you tooo

SamHolt > Pidgeon > Matteo  
SamHolt:this is samuel holt, can anyone read me?  
Pidgeon:DAD  
SamHolt:i’m reaching earth

LANCE MONTH  
*Pidgeon sent 1 photo*  
Shirogayne:SAM?  
Matteo:i’m freaking out holy SHIT  
EmoBoi:oh my god

SamHolt > Pidgeon > Matteo  
SamHolt:is your mother okay?  
Matteo:..she died   
Matteo:when we came back to earth we..found out she died of greif  
SamHolt:oh  
Matteo:shiro and i are married now  
SamHolt:oh thank god  
Pidgeon:i  
Pidgeon:/holy fuck/  
Pidgeon:let me just process this  
Pidgeon:how’d you get out  
SamHolt:i was freed a few years ago, took me a long time to get back to earth

 

Garrison Trio  
RazzleDazzle:you alright pidge?  
Pidgeon:im  
Pidgeon:i’m just  
Pidgeon:i thought he was dead  
Pidgeon:i dont know what to think anymore  
Hunketh:he’s close to earth?  
Pidgeon:yeah  
Pidgeon:im kinda,,freaking out  
Hunketh:want us to come over?  
Pidgeon:yeah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was thinking of a sequel but then I thought of a few things  
> 1) they’re all OCS, nobodys really gonna KNOW these characters  
> 2) i’ll have no idea where im going with this sewuel  
> so mabye..i’ll do another voltron chatfic with different formatting? have it be a modern au? highschool au?  
> i think my minds set on the modern au, so uhh, we’ll see


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this whole chapter is a mess  
> Its short  
> I  
> Im tired  
> Edit:IT WAS VERY LATE WHEN I WROTE THIS LMAO

LANCE MONTH  
*Pidgeon sent 1 photo*  
Pidgeon:dad arrived  
Matteo:everyones in a shock

Shirogayne > Matteo  
Shirogayne:are you and pidge okay?  
Matteo:yeah we’re just  
Matteo:tearful reunion  
Matteo:we’re in shock i mean..we thought he was dead  
Shirogayne:just know im here for you <3  
Matteo:<3

LANCE MONTH  
RazzleDazzle:guess who’s birthday is around the cornerr  
EmoBoi:MY BEAUTIFUL BOYFRIENDS  
*EmoBoi sent 8 photos*  
EmoBoi:i love him,,,sm  
RazzleDazzle:keith is being soft :0  
EmoBoi:shhh ily  
Hunketh:gayyy  
Hunketh:also fucking lions bakery opening yEET

Hunketh > Matteo  
Hunketh:you dont have to be at the grand opening today, i know you’re with your dad, we’re all here for you <3  
Matteo:HUNK GARRETT YOU FUCKING SWEETHEART HOW DARE  
Matteo:ur moms created the literal fucking sunshine when they had you  
Hunketh:ahshd aww thanks

LANCE MONTH  
Matteo:Tyoushi “Hunk” Garrett is a literal fucking sunshine  
RazzleDazzle:he really is  
RazzleDazzle:BOYS BEEN MY BEST FRIEND FOR YEARS  
Hunketh:i’ve kept up with your pining ass for years ;p  
RazzleDazzle:indeed you have  
RazzleDazzle:but you love me <3  
Hunketh:i’m your voice of reason  
RockPuns:hunk is like the sun, hot  
Hunketh:JDFJTSFRES SHAY  
RockPuns:its true  
Pidgeon:lmfao  
SpaceMom:hi who wants to see a “cursed image” as you humans(*cough* lance *cough*) call it  
RazzleDazzle:allura what did you do  
*SpaceMom sent 1 photo*  
RazzleDazzle:....whered they find that condom...  
EmoBoi:WE HAVE IT IN THE BATHROOM  
SpaceMom:one of the mice just..slid in there and ripped into a condom  
Pidgeon:well this was a wonderful thing to walk into  
RazzleDazzle:GDVGRD  
Shirogayne:i get out of the shower and see this  
Matteo:send pics pls ;)  
Pidgeon:oh my god  
Matteo:listen im desperate  
Pidgeon:me, listening to your shiro pining playlist blaring loudly:you’re desperate  
CoranCoran:humans are strange  
CoranCoran:on altea we..actually you dont want to know  
SpaceMom:BELIEVE ME I DONT  
Pidgeon:rip allura  
SpaceMom:on altea i kneed a guy in the dick  
RazzleDazzle:MOOD

Shirogayne:...  
Shirogayne:this is so sad  
Shirogayne:shiros arm, play despacito  
*Shirogayne sent 1 video*  
Matteo:THATS MY HUSBAND

*RazzleDazzle sent 1 photo*  
RazzleDazzle:IT HAS OPENED  
Shirogayne:YEEEEEEET

*RazzleDazzle sent 1 photo*  
RazzleDazzle:hunks food is uhhh the fucking best  
RazzleDazzle:THATS MY BESTIE  
Hunketh:also i will protect this jax kid with my life  
Matteo:Jax is a good kid  
Hunketh:HE CALLED ME..HIS HERO  
Hunketh::,) i will protect this boy  
EmoBoi:HE.IS.A.GOOD.

Hunketh > Jaxinthebox  
Jaxinthebox:sorry if i scared you with my fanboying earlier lmfao  
Hunketh:if i were you, i’d be fanboying too lmao  
Jaxinthebox:hold on  
Jaxinthebox:AAAAAAAA

LANCE MONTH  
*Hunketh sent 1 photo*  
Hunketh:this boy deserves love  
RazzleDazzle:we have so many people we need to protect  
EmoBoi:agsgdgd

RazzleDazzle:including our very own holts  
Pidgeon:how dare  
RazzleDazzle:WE LOVE YOU PIDGEY  
Pidgeon:>:((((((  
RazzleDazzle:<3  
Pidgeon:hmph <3 i guess  
RazzleDazzle:hURT  
EmoBoi:hey lance  
EmoBoi:<3  
RazzleDazzle:<3

Shirogayne:IM DEUNK AND GAY  
Matteo:babe go to sleep  
Shirogayne:but baaaaaaaaabe  
Matteo:sleep  
Shirogayne:babe pls  
Matteo:babe pls sleep  
Shirogayne:fiiiine

Hunketh > RazzleDazzle  
Hunketh:i’m tired and dont want to drive home  
RazzleDazzle:lmao  
RazzleDazzle:do you want keith to drop me off at the bakery and then i can drive you home?  
Hunketh:...yeah  
RazzleDazzle:be right there u disaster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic might end sooner than i said? idk my upload schedule is horrid


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I explain some things in the end

Lance Month  
EmoBoi:happy birthday to the love of my life, stars to my night sky, my world, my universe, i love you so much   
RazzleDazzle:<3 i love you too  
Pidgeon:HAPPY BIRTHDAY LANCE  
Shirogayne:happy birthday!  
Hunketh:HAAAAAPPY BIRTHDAY BESTIE  
SpaceMom:happy birthday lance!

 

RazzleDazzle:god im OLD  
EmoBoi:hagdd  
RazzleDazzle:Shiro’s like old old but  
RazzleDazzle:HOLY SHIT

Operation: Klance Proposal  
EmoBoi:operation in action  
RockPuns:LIVECHAT THIS FOR US UP IN SPACE  
Shirogayne:wow who knew keith had a way with words  
Pidgeon:LANCE IS BLUSHING  
Hunketh:wow this speech..makes me cry  
SpaceMom:its happening...its happening..  
SpaceMom:HES ON ONE KNEE AND LANCE JUST GASPED  
SpaceMom:HE JUST SCREAMED YES

McClain Sibs  
*RazzleDazzle sent 1 photo*  
RazzleDazzle:he put a ring on it ;)  
MarcoPolo:FINALLY  
OgMemelord:oh thank god

LANCE MONTH  
RazzleDazzle:iM FUCNJTSVFSCVFSSDD  
RazzleDazzle:IM ENGAGED OH MY GOD  
RazzleDazzle:IM CRYING  
EmoBoi:<3  
RazzleDazzle:AAAAAAAAAAAAA  
RazzleDazzle:I DID? NOT EXPECT?  
Hunketh:we were in on it  
EmoBoi:and so was your family  
RazzleDazzle:....  
RazzleDazzle:oh my god  
RazzleDazzle:IM DUDJFKING  
RazzleDazzle:i am dead  
RazzleDazzle:also Hunk is my best man  
Hunketh: :DDDDDDDDDDDD

 

Matteo:kashi and i are on the plane to the bahamas YEET  
Pidgeon:you’re a basic white bitch going to the bahamas with ur man  
Matteo:eat my ass  
Pidgeon:im not shiro  
Shirogayne:oh my god

RazzleDazzle:HERE WE GO YALL  
RazzleDazzle:on the castleship to our future  
Matteo:the rest of our lives, HERE WE COME!  
Hunketh:friends forever, right?  
RazzleDazzle:Always.  
Shirogayne:we had eachothers backs in space and still do now  
Pidgeon:no matter who dies first, or who dies last, we’re a team  
RockPuns:hi can i just say i love the team dynamic yall have???  
CoranCoran:^^  
Shirogayne:we’d die for eachother  
Shirogayne:and i mean i did  
EmoBoi:same  
RazzleDazzle:same

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic was like..my first actual fic?  
> i just started a new chatfic that i feel more satisfied with  
> so..that means i’m wrapping up this fic and moving on from it  
> theres so many missing plots and looking back i dont really like it that much anymore?  
> i decided to end this chapter on a happy note with the Klance proposal  
> and if you want, go and check out my new chatfic: Flaming Hot Memes  
> until then, adios


End file.
